Posted on 06/01/2008 8:53:16 AM PDT by Dysart
I read that propananol, a beta blocker blood pressure medicine, may be effective for PTSD if given soon after the trauma.
People who need, need, to talk are probably more prone to illness than those who don’t. But, I’m no MD.
I was sad about losing our colleague, but didn't feel the need to tell some stranger about that.
All I wondered was how much this woman was getting paid to go around to places that had experienced a tragedy and tell people to "talk about it."
I miss it.
If someone wants to unload their woe upon me, the line forms to the right. Now, who would like to go frst?
I have to agree...
When I was in high school, my mother died.
It was awful.
And while I wish that I had had some other kids to talk to about how their lives were going, talking to some stranger would NOT have been helpful.
Talking to my friends was helping..
hanging out with them and NOT talking was helpful.
Making it into a insurmountable issue (without the help of some counselor) would NOT have been helpful.
The “farm side” of my family (my mom’s family) were the ones who hugged us from the side and said (through tears)..it’s GOING TO BE OK!
It was pretty important to me that they REALLY BELIEVED it was all going to be ok!
And it was..
LOL! You're both normal! It took me about 5 years for me to learn to respect my husband's lack of feelings! Now I depend on him to be a source of strength and a balance to my *hyper* emotions.
Boys and girls are different...
I told him that he wasn't crying because a part of him was OK with his dad's death. Not that he didn't miss him or love him, but a part of him knew his dad was OK.
I told him to cry if he needed to, but don't worry about it if he didn't. His dad wouldn't have wanted him in pain anyway.
The level of hysteria is *not* directly proportional to the amount we loved.
An excellent response to your husband, Marie!
Our family recently suffered a spat of closely-timed deaths, and while I will surely miss them all, I did not feel the need to cry. They were all elderly and had lived full lives.
Contrast that with the news that one of my brother’s best friends lost a child to an unusual medical condition. I had known that the child was sick, but had no idea it was as serious as it turned out to be. Serious as it was, though, it seems the death was in fact a surprise to all involved.
I bawled like a baby for days. I HAD NEVER MET THIS CHILD and hadn’t seen the friend since my brother’s wedding 12 years ago.
When my own kids asked me about my reaction, I told them the truth: Nana didn’t need me to cry for her. She was tired and wanted to go home, but this baby....this baby died before he’d ever had a chance to live, and it was for the chance he never got that I cried.
Sorrow and grief are complicated things. Some need to speak of it, and some do not. Personally, I’m happy to hear that finally someone has noticed that we need not all get on the couch for every tragedy we encounter.
Regards,
And *that* is the truth. Psychology tries to take the vastness of human experience and put it into neat little generalized boxes. I'm sorry, but it doesn't work.
I was more traumatized by my son's diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes than by any death I've encountered. (We'd already almost lost him once to illness, then we had to deal with a brain injury... but diabetes was finally something that couldn't be beat. It took me a long time to accept that.)
But I was loved and supported and allowed to come to terms with reality in MY own way. Eventually, I did.
And perhaps those who don’t need to talk about it to others have already had a private discussion with the Master. He provides comfort to all who ask....
You’re both right!
When we lost our mom...my sister was 14 and I was 16.
It was awful.
But, we both went on to lead regular productive lives...that was 1986.
Years later, my sister’s baby died during labor. It was completely unsuspected and completely devastating.
Counseling (from a Christian counselor) helped my sister through losing her 1st born child (Samantha).
Thankfully, counseling was available.
Thankfully, it was productive counseling...
My sister is DEAR friends with this counselor now (they attend the same church) and has begun to do grief counseling herself for other women who’ve lost babies.
This, to me, is a common sense approach.
Recently at the school where I work, 2 sisters lost their mom from brain cancer.
3 WEEKS later they lost their dad to pancreatic cancer.
We have some amazing counselors at our school who were (in my opinion) wise enough to call in THEIR FRIENDS to help them (The friends) understand how they could help the sisters.
That ALSO makes a ton of sense to me.
The sisters are MUCH more likely to talk to their friends than seek out the counselors.
Also, they involved the parents of the friends so that everyone was on the same page.
That’s good!~
But, in other buildings where I’ve worked, they would’ve offered grief counseling to the whole SCHOOL!
That’s too much..and in my opinion encourages hysteria!
Anyway..
Thanks to you both for such thoughtful posts!
:-)
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