“but don’t mess with my kids without my say-so.”
And apparently you don’t get it. No one forces the kids to see anyone if they don’t want to. And if your kids decided to see a counselor without your “permission”, then what? Are you going to punish them for it?
No, I would not punish my kid but I would have a few words with the counselor. Sorry but schools take the in loco parentis bit too seriously. I didn’t say the kids were forced to see a counselor but having the counselors novering around from the very first moment is wrong-headed, I believe. If they showed up a week later and asked older kids if anyone wanted to talk to a counselor, fine. But too often the team is there immediately before the kids even begin to process the trauma and I think that’s way too soon. Kids have support groups, whether friends, parents or other adults in their lives that can help and should have first crack at doing so. Strangers in the mode of crisis teams should be a later resort only at need.