Journalist inadvertently takes knife on flight, TSA doesn't notice

Charleston City Paper ^ | 06/11/08 | Buck Sparkman

[Buck Sparkman]

Unintentional adventures in airport security Carry On

By Chris Haire

I'm a risk-taking man. I like to take chances. I like to put all of my chips on the No. 13, spin the roulette wheel, and pray that my hopes and dreams aren't splattered all over the casino walls like Christopher Walken's brains in The Deer Hunter. Charlie likes to gamble.

Which is why I was very much aware of what I was doing when I handed over my driver's license to a security official at the Philadelphia International Airport. I knew that the license was split in half — the front side with the photo and the back with the magnetic strip were separated. More importantly, I knew that it might be a problem.

And it was. The TSA agent marked my ticket for Delta Flight 1021 with a red pen and called over a fellow agent to take me aside to be felt up like a Japanese school girl in a tightly packed train headed to Harajuku Station.

After a surface-level pat down and a thorough search of my backpack, wallet, and shoes, the agent sent me on my merry way to down a few pints before the flight out of Philly. No blood. No foul. They were just doing their jobs as protectors of America's skies, and I was doing mine as a devil-may-care adventurer. Needless to say, the flight took off as planned, and I arrived safely at the Charleston International Airport.

Now this shouldn't come as a surprise to you — especially in these tough economic times — but I've got a second job. See, I'm not just a guy who spends his days and nights attempting feats of derring-do. I'm also a dumbass. I frequently forget to zip my fly. I didn't realize Delaware was a state until I was in my 30s. And I voted for Ralph Nader in 2000.

Need another example of my stupidity? Let me take you back a few days.

We had just checked into our room at the Marriott in downtown Philadelphia. I was still wearing my backpack — the one containing the latest issue of Rolling Stone and a biography on Iggy Pop, the one I had with me the entire flight, the one that had been scanned at Charleston International Airport shortly before I boarded Delta Flight 1687, departing for Atlanta at 10:10 a.m. on Thurs. June 5.

For some reason I needed to write something down, so I took off the pack, placed it on the bed, and reached into the middle pocket to grab a pen. I didn't find one. Instead I found a knife, the 3.5 inch beastie pictured here in all of its serrated, gut-you-from-ear-to-ear glory. I had put it there a couple of weeks back when I moved from one house to another, and I had forgotten to take it out.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who's a dumbass. And that's not a good thing.

[Slapshot68]

This past December, I got through security with a swiss army knife on my keychain. I totally forgot it was there but they didn’t even notice.

[M203M4]

This doesn’t even get into the petty bribes paid to airport employees...the goal is a facade, nothing more. Well, I lied - that and a make-work campaign for a small army of sub-literates and a large army of useless eaters in management.

[Old North State]

It doesn't matter if a knife gets on the plane, what matters is who has the knife. The Israelis figured this out years ago. That's why they profile passengers and that's why they have stopped the terrorists from hijacking their planes. They have accepted the stunning conclusion that Arabs and Muslims are in the profile and adapted accordingly.

[Dasaji]

Lucky duck. I had my $15 bottle of sunscreen casually and mercilessly casted into The Bin of Forgotten Fluids Over Three Ounces in Ft. Lauderdale a few weeks ago. . .

[Polynikes]

Those are notoriously hard to spot but are quite small. That goes to show screening is an art form as well as a science. These days if someone was to attempt mischief with one of those blades he probably wouldn't get much more than a single Allu Akbhar out of his mouth before he was on his was on his way to a coma.

The Israelis have it right. They look for terrorists while the Americans look for pointy things

Now for your viewing consideration the FBI guide on concealed weapons published for general consumption

http://www.scribd.com/doc/268767/FEDERAL-BUREAU-OF-INVESTIGATION-GUIDE-TO-CONCEALABLE-WEAPONS?ga_related_doc=1

[cquiggy]

Journalist inadvertently takes knife on flight, TSA doesn’t notice

Let me see if I understand correctly. If a journalist takes a knife on a plane it is inadvertent. But if a hunter has two guns in checked baggage and a three inch pocketknife in his pocket the hunter is always prosecuted and treated like a terrorist. And most journalist will prosecute him further in all forms of media. Ok I do understand correctly.

[Buck Sparkman]

Why would you knowingly bring two guns on a plane? Hell, why would you knowingly bring a gun on a plane?

Oh. You said, “checked luggage.” Funny that. You can check a gun. You can check ammo. There’s nothing wrong with that. They just don’t want you carrying them on the plane.