Could you maybe give me a read on what your opinion of cheese is, maybe?
Well... Let me begin by saying that I like it. Cheese, that is. I like cheese. Don’t get me wrong; there are other things that I like too. I like tomatoes. I like pretzels. I like cigars. I like beer. I like pork. I like vinegar-based BBQ sauce. I like the beach. I like beer. (Oops, I already said that.) I like bats, but not as a culinary item. I like the color blue. I like 488 nm blue in particular. I like, while we’re on the subject of the color blue, cobalt glass. I like hops. I like pasta. I like beef. I like garlic. I like pickles. I like a good knife in the kitchen. I like dirt roads. I like chicken. I like fish. I like coffee. I like pipe tobacco. I like trout. I like red snapper. I like Chilean sea bass. I like Hawaiian shirts. I like, beer of course, but more specifically, ales, stouts, and porters. I like Mexican lagers too. I like a good zot; but who doesn’t? I like a good BM in the morning; and again, who doesn’t? I like the uncomfortable looks people have when I make animal noises in a crowded elevator. I like the Dodgers. I like Pink’s hot dogs. I like my Logitech marble mouse. I like the ESC key. I like scotch tape. I like scotch. I like beer; I mean I really like it. It ranks right up there with cheese. I like inappropriate laughter during a horror film. I like to be the one doing the inappropriate laughing during a horror film. I like bees. I like those “Messin’ with Sasquatch” commercials. I like setting off CO2 bombs in the lab. I like geckos. I like pastrami. I like turning right on a red light; it’s just one of the little compensations for living in California. I like kimchee. I like doughnuts, but not with the kimchee. I like red wine, but not with the kimchee or the doughnuts. I like being difficult. I like my shoes. I like Firefox. I like dogs. I like knowing that some of you are carefully reading each and every item in this list. I like knowing that you can’t tear yourself away from it either. I like using the word “inappropriate” in a sentence. I like my new rifle. I like wasting other people’s time. I like knowing that some of you are still reading this list despite the taunting. I like camo. I like bagpipe music. I like upsetting people by calling it “music”. I like BK7 glass. I like my espresso machine. I like post-it notes. I like 3M 2216 epoxy. I like hardwood floors. I like offroad tires. I like stainless steel cookware. I like carbon steel woks, however. I like John McCain’s chances in November. I don’t like the country’s chances, however. I like seeing libs get that constipated look when I say something politically incorrect at a party. I like the PHP programming language. I like MySQL. I like cars with old-fashioned carburetors. I like thick crust pizza. I like olives. I like ahi poke. I like books. I like obscure cinematic references in everyday conversation. I like Mel Brooks. I like country music. I like country music that incorporates bagpipes. I like my beeber set to stune. I like wandering around Harbor Freight when I don’t really need anything there. I like roasted, salted peanuts. I like sunflower seed. I like loud pipes. I like sauerkraut. And then there’s the cheese. I like cheddar. I like Swiss. I like blue cheese. I like provolone. I like Gouda. I like feta. I like queso fresco. I like string cheese. I like mozzarella. I like Gorgonzola. I like Dubliner. I like Oxacan string cheese. I like cream cheese. I like cheesecake, though that’s not actually a cheese. I like cutting... Never mind. I like Monterey Jack. I like lots of different cheeses. I could go on, but I’m feeling a bit hungry now.