If you would like to be added or dropped from the Michigan ping list, please freepmail me.
Back from my mini-break.
Even before I had free long distance I talked to my folks every couple of days. Sad
Posted on 07/02/2008 12:12:31 PM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
"When John Brookner died of liver cancer at the age of 66 in late May, he'd been living at the Grand Rapids Home For Veterans for 12 years.
Up until the day before he died, Brookner didn't want his daughter to know his condition. Officials at the facility showed the paperwork documenting his wishes to 24 Hour News 8."
Veteran dies, family notified 38 days later.
Video at link.
Sad story.
Doesn't sound like the daughters kept in close touch with their Dad.
Up until the day before he died, Brookner didn't want his daughter to know his condition. Officials at the facility showed the paperwork documenting his wishes to 24 Hour News 8.
"The social worker was working with John Brookner, was very compassionate to the family, and asked, 'Do you want your daughters to know,'" said Commandant Frank Snarski from the Home For Veterans. "And he states 'no.'"
But the day before he died, he changed his mind and OK'd the notification of his daughters. Snarski said the social worker tried to contact the daughters and didn't get an answer.
Brookner's daughters deny that.
"I have three or four different social workers with statements that that attempted to call," Snarski said.
His daughters also claim Brookner did not have the capacity to make such a decision, again an assertion Snarski disputes. "John did have the mental capacity," he said.
Karin Cascadden, one of his daughters, said she eventually learned of her dad's death more than a month later. "I got a letter in the mail from Spectrum Hospice and opened it up and found they were offering condolences in the death of my father," she told 24 Hour News 8.
Snarski said the facility's ultimate responsibility is to honor the wishes of the 700 people in their care.
"We tried to call his family. I know that to be a fact," he said. "And he (Brookner) denied that for whatever reason. He didn't want them notified."
The home even held Brookner's body for seven days before laying him to rest on their grounds. "We can still have a service for John," he said, " and we'll have the daughters come down."
Cascadden said her family isn't trying to cash in on his estate - in fact, Brookner had nothing when he died. They're just upset with the system, and don't want other families to experience the same thing.
Mitten ping.
“Snarski said the facility’s ultimate responsibility is to honor the wishes of the 700 people in their care.”
Exactly.
Hey, daughter, maybe CALL him once in while. Better yet, go see him.
I’m confused. Is it “daughter” or “daughters”?..........
Karin Cascadden, one of his daughters, said she eventually learned of her dad's death more than a month later. "I got a letter in the mail from Spectrum Hospice and opened it up and found they were offering condolences in the death of my father," she told 24 Hour News 8.
She didn't find out until a month later, because she didn't bother to go to see her dad even once per month. She should have had the grace to keep her yap shut about this, because all she has done is out herself.
We can't tell whose ultimate fault this is. Dad may have contributed heavily to what turned this relationship south. He isn't the one feining love for a dear departed relative he didn't bother to go see though.
My take is the family remaining is both pissed and humiliated because their totally uncaring attitude towards their Dad has been made public. They are trying to set up a smoke screen by blaming the Vet Home.
I have no proof but I would lay money and odds that his family are among the lib anti war fringe loonys and simply didn’t want anyhting to do with their dad. I also have a feeling the man knew this and had written them out of his life.
I think we know why Dad wasn’t anxious to have the girls notified of his death.
Two daughters.
The beginning of the article had a typo.
I should have corrected it.
Yeah girls, fact is, you didn’t have the decency to touch bases with your father ever so often, just damn.
I know first hand (I’m John’s generation), all it takes is a little “Hey, how ya doin’? everything okay?” Doesn’t need to be an hour long meaningless conversation. Then they said that their father “didn’t have the mental capacity to make such decisions”, sure, didn’t even know their father and they know what his mental state is, shhhhuuuuuurrrrre.....
How many lonely souls go out like that? I pray there were some caring case workers (and apparently there were) that would brighten his day a little.
God bless you John.
Bingo. If they had actually cared about their father at all, they would have been in contact enough to know he was close to death, and they could have been with him.
What an absolute BITCH. Not speaking to your parents for a month is normal and regular for you???
Brookner had nothing when he died.
Of course this might explain why no one was around.
Hospice workers are some of the finest people I’ve known. You can bet there were caring and compassionate people with John up to the time he drew his last breath, and even beyond that.
Rest in peace
The daughters have their own burden to bear now. They should hope they don’t reap the same disregard they sowed when their time comes.
Everyone should not pass judgment until knowing the full story, (both sides).
My mother recently died, I didn’t know until a few days afterward. Found out in the obituaries.
My mother was extremely abusive, mentally and physically, to my sister, father, and I.
I finally had the guts to tell her to her face about a year ago, how I didn’t want her in my life because of the abuse and her not acknowledging it or apologizing for it.
She was a hateful woman. (I don’t have enough space and time to explain)
There are some parents who by their actions and words do not deserve to have a relationship with their kids.
I have no idea what happened in this case, but will not judge.
Did she petition a court to make such a ruling? If not, then he legally did have the capacity and it's all her own fault for not keeping in touch with her father.
If you would like to be added or dropped from the Michigan ping list, please freepmail me.
Back from my mini-break.
Even before I had free long distance I talked to my folks every couple of days. Sad
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