If your favorite Starbucks is closing, you can even make coffee at home, and pretend you're the barista. Can I start a coffee beverage for me? Yes, I can. What would I like? Er, coffee. Do I want light roast, or the dark roast made from shade-grown fair-trade beans that were passed through the digestive system of a civet? Um, the first one. The Folgers. It's not the same, but if you set four dollar bills on fire while you do it, it's close.
LOL. His sarcasm is of the highest quality.