Posted on 08/06/2008 7:52:02 AM PDT by qam1
I guess my opinion is quite different. I just got married at 42, and the extra time for maturity and contentment was a good thing. I’d have given nothing but misery to a wife any earlier than 37. That said, my wife is significantly younger than me, and we’re planning for kids, and I’d be first to admit it will be harder to keep up with the demands of parenthood in this 40-something body.
We had 3 kids in 2 years (twins in there) in our very late 30’s ... everyone survived pretty well. When and if one marries really depends on the people involved. I’d recommend neither marrying early or late, but being very selective in WHO one marries, and being sure that both are mature enough at whatever age. One of my 3 is marrying at 25, the others aren’t yet ready for that commitment.
When I was in my early 40, carting my 3 toddlers around, another - much younger - mother asked how I did it. My reply was simple: I knew just how quickly their childhood would pass. I would not have had that perspective as a 20-something. So, I was able to thoroughly enjoy every last second of my kids’ childhood.
We’ll be married 20 years in February also!
Of course we started early at age 19.
“No kidding. I’ve got my hands full with 5, 3 and 8 month old children.”
Now that’s what I call a long delivery...
I was 22 and my husband was 26. Sometimes it’s been “happily ever after” and sometimes it’s been “life sentence,” but one thing a person should realize by 42 is that whatever uproar is going on in your life right now is not going to last.
Well I’m almost 40 and never married. I guess I’ll just get a cat. :-)
Had my first (now 9-year-old) child at 39, my second (8-month-old) child at 48. Yes, with the same (1st) wife (we're celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary tomorrow.)
1/3/5-a.m. feedings have never been a problem with me, as Nature didn't equip me with the ability to lactate (sorry for any unpleasant mental images that might conjure up) and hence I can sleep through till 6 a.m., at which time I have to wake up and get ready to go to the office.
Changing diapers hasn't really been a problem since my wife is East European and they have a knack for toilet-training babies very early (no mess, no tears.)
Teething is a minor nuisance.
Holding my 8-mo.-old boy up to my face and looking into his eyes is more than enough compensation for any of the difficulties associated with raising him. Other middle-aged men go mountain-climbing, run marathons, or engage is other high-risk pastimes, which activities are at least as exhausting as carrying a 9-kg child in a harness on your chest during an all-day downtown shopping spree. Jedem das Seine. (To each, his own.)
Am looking forward to having another in a few years.
However, I admit that I have not yet gathered any experience with pubescent children (vulgo: "teenagers.")
Regards,
When it comes time to choose between working it out and breaking up, the folks who got married later have much more practice at breaking up than staying together, so it seems like an easier thing to do.
I was 35 when the first was born and 40 when the second came. My wife is younger (considerably younger she would say but the birth certificate doesn’t lie unless maybe it’s from Hawaii).
People have kid when they’re supposed to. Had I married in my 20’s my wife would have been in school and I would married someone else who more than likely wouldn’t have been as great as my wife is. If we had had kids when we were younger they wouldn’t be the kids they are now. Maybe it would have been better, maybe it would have been worse, but we had them when we had them.
I wasn’t in a position where I could duck out of work to coach sports when I was younger, but chasing after them would have been easier. Of course I do sometimes look longingly at my brother-in-law and his wife who are empty nesters in their mid-40s, but I think the wife wouldn’t mind having another baby at her age either.
I think the author is comparing apples to oranges. The author’s point is that people with longer marriages are more likely to survive, which I would agree with, but the same could be said about a couple who married late in life and had a twenty year marriage as could be said about a younger couple who had 20 years in. What about all the couples who married in their 20’s and divorced after 5 or 10 years?
“According to the Office for National Statistics, men are getting married for the first time seven years later and women six years later.”
What is the reference point for this sentence; later than when? What previous ages for marriage are indicated in the article?
Thats been my observation too. The right-after college crowd all divorced. The only people I know who married young and are still together were the ones who got married really young, at age 20 or so, usually because they teamed up to overcome a hardship.
The rest of the crowd all got married at around 30 and are still married. Most have teenagers now.
I was 28 when I got married. We had our first seven years later. Our second two years after that. I’m now 41 and my wife 37. We’ve recently talked about trying once more for a little brother to our six and four year old girls. However, I don’t know that either of us can do it again!
Go to college or learn a trade immediately after high school.
Get married within 3 years of having earning your degree or becoming qualified in your chosen occupation. The responsibility you have to your spouse will help you to understand selfless sarificial love and to mature and start acting like a responsible adult. Being single for too long allows one to marinate in self-centered irresponsibility and to develop very bad egocentric habits and routines - its human nature to do this, so why set yourself up for it?
Start having children within 2 or 3 years or marriage. It will help you to avoid becoming reliant on two incomes so that the mother can devote herself to her children full-time without feeling the pinch of a sudden loss of income. You will never miss what you did not have. The financial and other sacrifices required by having children help you to understand even moreso selfless sarificial love and to mature even more and act even more like a responsible adult. Being childless for too long allows the couple to marinate in hedonistic irresponsibility and to develop very bad egocentric habits and routines - its human nature to do this, so why set yourself up for it?
Have as many children as you can handle. Regardless of the effort involved, it will give you much more back! It will help you grow stronger, love more, experience more, and bring great joy to your life.
Marriage and family life helps us grow in our understanding of sacrificial love and in our ability to love sacrificially and give the best of ourselves to others. It helps us better understand the Father’s love, and the sacrificial love of Jesus - and to emulate those loves in a very deep way.
For Christians, it’s always best to marry whenever God brings you your spouse. He knows far better than any studies.
1st Paragraph
Over the past 35 years we have been waiting longer and playing the field more before settling down. According to the Office for National Statistics, men are getting married for the first time seven years later and women six years later. This means that the average man is aged 32 when he asks “Will you marry me?” and the average woman is 29 when she says “Yes”.
So I guess, in 1973 the average age for men was 25 and for women was 23
Marriage and kids in your 20’s? Not for me. I’m really glad I waited until I was in my 30’s before doing both. I loved being single. Got to travel a lot at the spur of the moment, enjoy my hobbies, work guilt-free (no kids to dump in daycare) and just figure out who I was before I started trying to figure out who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. If I had married the guy I dated seriously in my 20’s, I’d be a miserable woman today. Instead I dumped him, waited, found someone better after taking time for myself, and now I’m happy...more important, my husband is happy and my son is happy. And I have no regrets.
I tell my younger sis all the time to WAIT. It might not be the best path for everyone, but it was for me, and my (then-future) family, and it’s good for my sis.
As a father of 2, having one in 20s and one in 30s... trust me a decade makes a lot of difference. 20s is easier, but man upstairs probably knew what he was doing, I think I needed that extra 10 years of mellowing before I could handle being a father of a little girl.
But I have told my wife, if this one is 10ish and we haven’t had any more, you better wait until I’m good and drunk to let me know in my 40s we’re having another one.
I married my Wife at the age of 24. Our 23rd wedding anniversary is coming up August 24th. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Love ya, honey.
People call them "starter marriages." Kids get married right out of high school or college, then figure out the marriage doesn't work. With no kids or any real assets, the divorce is usually pretty painless. It's a learning experience with, hopefully, no real harm done.
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