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Clinically, narcissism is not a ‘Narcissus’ -like love of self. It manifests primarily in a hidden true self (usually out of an inner shame) with a pronounced inability to genuinely empathize, a need to exploit and manipulate and a sense of entitlement.

Thank you for describing my mother.

I knew she used shame-based parental methods, but did not realize that it was those shame-based methods used by her own parents that created the narcissism.

I think I avoided becoming a narcissist because of the healthly and insightful relationships I had with my siblings. We puzzled a lot about our mother as we grew up.