Posted on 11/11/2008 5:15:16 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
There are some bands that would be worth paying millions of dollars to not have their product marketed. Metallica is not one of them.
I thought the band members were from Canada.
Heavy Metal Ping!!!
sort of...
I think they would really be surprised.
Oh, and become Christians first.
That helps.
Nirvana sucked. That whiny depressing shit couldn’t hold a candle to thrash metal OR hair metal.
Rock and roll’s been going downhill since Buddy Holly died.
Garage, Inc. is their best album because they didn’t write any of it.
Won’t be any need to bail out Iron Maiden when they release their new album, which they’ll start working on next year.
The band members of Rush and Annihilator are from Canada.
I want to air a rant on the condition of today’s metal scene. It’s an opinion.
All great old school heavy metal bands started out playing jazz, classical, and blues like Zeppelin, Blue Cheer, Steppenwolf, King Crimson, YES, and Black Sabbath (damn straight I said YES—listen to Heart of the Sunrise for all later metal bass cues). Incidently, no group ever called themselves heavy metal back in the day. Their music played along side The Archies, The Carpenters and The Fifth Dimension on AM and FM radio. Then the next wave imitated the original metal bands’ sound without as much intelligence built into the music like Saxon, Iron Maiden, and Van Halen. They were great bands but imitators of imitators. Then came the so-called Hair Band years when bands imitated the “look” and “sound” of the imitators imitating the imitators of originals. Then came the punk-metal fusion (four times removed) with diverse blends of an imitated “anger” with much less substance like Pantera and NIN. Now we are five or six times removed, just silly angry, atonal, sloppy gutteral noise from kids trying to imitate anger than has already been imitated. It’s so badly diluted that the Ramones, Dead Kennedies, Black Flag, and Sex Pistols are on par with Beethoven compared to today’s primal scream pablum. It’s nonsense and embarrassingly humorous, like watching a fool think he’s clever-embarrassing humor.
Cleanse your heavy metal souls: Go back and listen to Miles Davis, Charlie Parker, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Albert King, Brahms, Mozart, and Grieg. Listen to the lyrical writings of classic novelists and poets. Get the crap out of your mind to be the next Lars or Anders Colsefini and follow a train of thought stemming from your own genius, wit, humor, macabre fascination, and success. Then determine to come up with something new.
Rant over.
Yeah, yeah, the idiot blew his own brains out with a shotgun.
But they remain one of the best
bands that have ever been. I miss
them.
You sound old.
Take your meds and go for a walk.
;)
Blind Melon Chitlin?
“Goin downtown, gonna see my gal...yaaaaaawww..”
I was more into the actual music than what they said. I liked Metallica because they brought the sound of a hugh locomotive bearing down in a tunnel. That thunderous thump of that palm muted ESP explorer fitted with the 65s and 89s just sent chills all over me.
Then, of course, I heard that ESP was sued by Gibson for that guitar model..
Reminiscent of the flurry of bank buyouts conducted by the government in recent months, the Fed said it will pay Warner Brothers Records $30 million dollars for 2 million unsold copies of Metallica's new release "Death Magnetic" to buttress the label, whose exposure to a storm of criticism that the album sucks had led to a crisis in confidence that neither the company nor the band could remain viable.
LOL, not a Metallica fan but finding that there is a VERY fine line between satire and reality these days. If we don’t find something to laugh at we won’t make it through BO’s first (and hopefully only) term.
Hear, hear.
Speaking of which, I have something funny I'm gonna send you by e-mail in just a bit!
In fact, Metallica became the first band in history to have 5 consecutive albums debut at #1.
Elvis didn't do it. Michael Jackson didn't do it. The Beatles didn't do it.
METALLICA did it!
I knew that already, that's why I had to ping you. Hehe!
OMG!
Go Metallica, get your cut!
We need some reality to creep in to Washington before all the dead presidents crawl out of their graves and choke these phonies to death!
This is satire.
Chill out.
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