(R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.): Return to the Wilderness

spectator.org ^ | 12.5.08 | R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.

[Publius804]

Return to the Wilderness

By R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr.

AND SO THE LAMENTABLE November 4 presidential election is entombed in history… and in keeping with the benevolent wishes of the mainstream moron media the American conservative movement once again enters the wilderness. In the wilderness, all we shall have to comfort us is the L.L. Bean catalogue. As you might have noted, we have distributed several versions of the renowned Bean catalogue on your tables. My personal favorite is the fishing catalogue. Regnery prefers the hunting catalogue. Pleszczynski is waiting for his very own Polish-language edition. I urge you all to take your L.L. Bean catalogues home with you tonight. Study them assiduously. Learn the bird calls.

Winston Churchill, during his wilderness years, was comforted by Pol Roger and a fistful of Havanas. Unfortunately, Champaign has become very pricey, and nowadays smoking is malum prohibitum almost everywhere. Even in the wilderness a lit cigar would be highly controversial. Thus we American conservatives are left with L.L. Bean as our solace and our guide. In my fishing catalogue there are many varieties of warm and sturdy boots, colorful parkas, and a product that I am particularly curious about, "breathable rainwear." I ask myself, "Am I to breathe it or will it breathe me?" -- all very exciting. So perhaps the wilderness will not be so bad -- especially for those of us who drive Hummers.

Of course, to hear some conservatives, for instance David Brooks, David Frum -- both being members of the conservative movement's Davidian Branch -- the rest of us are going to be out there with the flora and the fauna for many, many years.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

“Champaign”

This from an encre-pisseur with 2 m’s, 2 t’s, 2 r’s and 2 l’s to be engraved in every award he gets.

[penowa]

"Personally, I hope to get a tent not far from Sarah Palin."

I'm hoping to meet some interesting people like Gov. Palin, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, etc., not "wandering in the wilderness," but at the re-education camp.

[Paine in the Neck]

“Champaign”

Spell check will get you every time.

[Verginius Rufus]

Champaign has become very pricey

Actually, I don't think there's much difference in the prices between Champaign and Urbana.

[squarebarb]

what is an ewncre-pisseur?An ink-pee-er?

[squarebarb]

oops I mean encre

[jla]

RET again proves why he is one of if not the most prolific and insightful thinkers* of our day.

* to label him a mere 'journalist' would be an insult

[jla]

Good morning, and *ping*

[Old Professer]

That’s why I stick to Wry whiskey and dry sheets.

[Lurker]

Wry whiskey

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

L

[rdb3]

This from an encre-pisseur...

Could he be a smollier?

Amazing << Hear this. Feel this, and tell me that this isn't music.
Groove to Black Violin EPK, too.

[Mamzelle]

reThis from an encre-pisseur with 2 m’s, 2 t’s, 2 r’s and 2 l’s to be engraved in every award he gets)))

LOL.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

what is an ewncre-pisseur?An ink-pee-er?

Pee-cisely! And I learned that from reading Tyrrell as a wee one.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Could he be a smollier?

Bloomin' corksniffers! An auctioneer could live his entire career within the span of time they take to wet your whistle.

[LowCountryJoe]

Our belief in free markets is one of the reasons that our critics think that we are going to be shivering in the wilderness.

Does Tyrrell know that there are many so-called conservatives -- on this very forum, no less -- that abhor the free market? I want to be optimistic but with so many FReepers who cannot stomach economic liberty, it's tough not to let pessimism creep in.

[T. Buzzard Trueblood]

after every stay in the wilderness we conservatives have come back stronger. The reason we keep coming back is that we are not a party of prophets or messiahs but a party of principles. Our principles have been preferable to the dreams and fantasies of the likes of LBJ and Jimmy Carter.

Great read.

[Billthedrill]

...David Brooks, David Frum -- both being members of the conservative movement's Davidian Branch...

That's actually pretty good...

[Liz]

Winner of the best Election Night Performance in the category of:
"I Know Nothing About this Republican Disaster."

"Thank you very much. I am very honored."

" But I could not have done it without the help of all the Davidians--David Frum,
Michael Gerson, David Brooks, Richard Perle, and my dear Daddy."

"I especially want to thank Douglas Feith for faking documents on his home
computer so we could dupe the president."

"Without Doug we would not have been able to transfer trillions of US dollars
into the Mideast, into the pockets of war profiteers, which enabled Richard Perle
to go into the oil business with his cut."

[Liz]

David Brooks, writing from his sofa at the New York Times -- predicted that
the Republican Party will veer to the right and suffer still more defeats.

It's a darn shame to see Brooks' mind go.......and so soon after the election.
Brooks' engineering the two dumbest campaigns in US history has its
consequences. Too bad it was Brooks' mind. Let's hope medical science
comes to the rescue.

"Chonny and Wooty, you two losers bettah make udder plans.
I gotda funny feeling the Republican Potty tinks you guys are pure crapola."

"Me, I'll kiss anybody's tookus so's I can git federal tax dollahs to bailout
bankrupt Kaliforneeah."