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EPA to tax Farts and Belches of Cows and Pigs!
Associated Content ^ | 12-09-2008 | Bobby Tall Horse

Posted on 12/09/2008 12:29:47 PM PST by stillafreemind

If we figure out how to hook the truck or tractor to the rear end of the bull..can we just use the methane for fuel and not pay the fart and belch tax? I'm pretty sure Sammy the Dexter bull will have something to say about that..but the other option is the butcher. Sammy may come around to our way of thinking!

One wonders, from experience, if a few individuals walking around should be taxed by the EPA for the fart and belch sessions they have. I mean, some of the most eye crossing farts and belches have come from two leggers, not four. And they usually fart and belch indoors. Paint peeling may not be a crime yet, but who knows?

(Excerpt) Read more at associatedcontent.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: belch; epa; fart; tax
This ought to be raising a ruckus. It doesn't just affect farmers/ranchers and their livestock. If this would get passed, wouldn't it be the end of U.S. beef and pork?
1 posted on 12/09/2008 12:29:48 PM PST by stillafreemind
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To: stillafreemind

Lets hope they don’t start taxing Boston Terrier farts.


2 posted on 12/09/2008 12:33:05 PM PST by skeeter
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To: stillafreemind

They could raise a fortune just by taxing methane produced by all the Democrats......


3 posted on 12/09/2008 12:35:01 PM PST by phoenix07
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To: stillafreemind

They could raise a fortune just by taxing methane produced by all the Democrats......


4 posted on 12/09/2008 12:35:09 PM PST by phoenix07
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To: stillafreemind

Will Congress exempt themselves?


5 posted on 12/09/2008 12:35:46 PM PST by Dr. Ursus (( commander of the simian host))
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To: skeeter

Paging Mr. Frank. Mr. Barney Frank. The EPA would like to see you now.


6 posted on 12/09/2008 12:35:46 PM PST by dragonblustar (Once abolish the God, and the government becomes the God - G. K. Chesterton)
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To: stillafreemind

7 posted on 12/09/2008 12:35:51 PM PST by al baby (Hi mom IF DA BIRTH PLACE IS A LIE, BEING DA PRESIDENT AIN'T GONNA FLY!)
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To: dragonblustar

Ya know..I was going to say I wanna see that...but quite “frankly” I’d rather de-scent a skunk.


8 posted on 12/09/2008 12:38:01 PM PST by stillafreemind
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To: stillafreemind

I can predict a new episode of “Dirty Jobs”.


9 posted on 12/09/2008 12:38:33 PM PST by AU72
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To: stillafreemind

Do they intend to put some sort of meter on these animals?


10 posted on 12/09/2008 12:40:09 PM PST by SkyDancer ("Talent Without Ambition Is Sad, Ambition Without Talent Is Worse")
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To: stillafreemind

What it will do is stop the small farmer/rancher from owning a milk cow or buying a calf to raise at home for the meat locker. It a shove towards big business.


11 posted on 12/09/2008 12:41:05 PM PST by B4Ranch ( Veterans: "There is no expiration date on our oath, to protect America from all enemies, ...")
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To: stillafreemind

I agree. Something doesn’t smell right here.


12 posted on 12/09/2008 12:41:29 PM PST by Rennes Templar (The Messiah and the Religion of Fleece)
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To: stillafreemind

Will there be a new federal job created for the “Fart Inspectors”?


13 posted on 12/09/2008 12:41:37 PM PST by The Sons of Liberty (NO Kenyan Usurpers in the White House - NObama !)
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To: stillafreemind

Let me tell you how it will be;
There’s one for you, nineteen for me.
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

Should five per cent appear too small,
Be thankful I don’t take it all.
‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

(if you drive a car, car;) - I’ll tax the street;
(if you try to sit, sit;) - I’ll tax your seat;
(if you get too cold, cold;) - I’ll tax the heat;
(if you take a walk, walk;) - I’ll tax your feet.

Taxman!

‘Cause I’m the taxman,
Yeah, I’m the taxman.

(if you own a cow) — I’ll tax the belches;
(if you own a pig) — I’ll tax the farts;
(if you own a pond) — I’ll tax the leaches;
(if you own a brothel) — I’ll tax the tarts.

(Adapted from “Taxman” — George Harrison. The last two lines were just added to complete the rhyme scheme of the stanza I added. Despite that: sad to say, they’re probably true.)


14 posted on 12/09/2008 12:44:41 PM PST by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: LifeComesFirst

ping


15 posted on 12/09/2008 12:45:50 PM PST by B4Ranch ( Veterans: "There is no expiration date on our oath, to protect America from all enemies, ...")
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To: stillafreemind

Hey, Algore....come pull my finger.


16 posted on 12/09/2008 12:47:18 PM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear
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To: stillafreemind

Need to support the latest demoncRAT fad “going Green” along with “bloated warming”.


17 posted on 12/09/2008 12:48:58 PM PST by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: ErnBatavia; wazoo1031

Belch and fart ping.


18 posted on 12/09/2008 12:52:11 PM PST by Allegra
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To: dragonblustar
Fit for a US congressman, like Mr Frank.


19 posted on 12/09/2008 12:52:54 PM PST by skeeter
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To: The Sons of Liberty

“gas meter readers”
`Federal Atmospheric Greenhouse’ (Emissions, Meter Reader II), an entry level position.
Succeed as a `FAG’ and move up to `Pecker Checker I’ in Chicago’s federal courthouse restroom.


20 posted on 12/09/2008 12:57:03 PM PST by tumblindice ("Leave Barack alone!" Scores of FR noobs & boobs)
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To: stillafreemind

This is beyond STUPID....and YES....we’d all have to forever forget hamburgers, steak, etc.

(I doubt it will happen.)


21 posted on 12/09/2008 12:57:25 PM PST by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: stillafreemind

A) The EPA has no power to tax.
B) This has been posted about 20 times.


22 posted on 12/09/2008 1:15:22 PM PST by xcamel (The urge to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it. - H. L. Mencken)
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To: stillafreemind; Xenalyte; RebelTex; Slings and Arrows


Taxing farts is like taxing unwanted gifts: "A gift is only a good thing when the giver has given thought to that gift. But when the gift the giver gives gives grief, then that gift should give the givee regrets."
23 posted on 12/09/2008 1:16:35 PM PST by egannacht
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To: The Sons of Liberty
Will there be a new federal job created for the “Fart Inspectors”?

Sir,

Kindly use the proper term, Fartonometric Analysts, henceforth.

Yours,

Laz

24 posted on 12/09/2008 1:18:23 PM PST by Lazamataz (Proud author of abstract semi-religious dogmatic hoooey with a decidedly fringe feel.)
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To: xcamel

Does that mean that the EPA’s “idea” won’t be picked up by the “greenies” in the Obama administration?

In the Record Stockman reported that the EPA is ruling on whether or not GHG emissions should be classified as endangering public safety. They are setting a threshold..if you own 25 dairy or 50 beef cattle, you would meet that threshold.


25 posted on 12/09/2008 1:22:05 PM PST by stillafreemind
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To: SkyDancer

On FoxNews the chart was $175 pr cow, $20 pr pig, and I don’t remember the other one....but it only applied to Farmers with more than certain amount... Someone said it could add up to $40,000 per farm, which would raise cost of beef, pork etc.


26 posted on 12/09/2008 1:43:15 PM PST by Kackikat (.It's NOT over until it's over and it's NOT over yet....The Trumpet will sound....)
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To: The Sons of Liberty

Flatus Compliance Officer.


27 posted on 12/09/2008 2:47:57 PM PST by George Smiley (Palin is the real deal.)
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To: Lazamataz
Dinosaur Fartonometric Analysts
28 posted on 12/09/2008 4:05:52 PM PST by egannacht
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To: George Smiley
Flatus Compliance Officers
29 posted on 12/09/2008 4:12:05 PM PST by egannacht
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To: stillafreemind

All joking aside, anyone that interferes with food production in the US ought to be shoved up against a wall and shot! Lord, please spare us the fate of other communist countries!


30 posted on 12/09/2008 4:14:13 PM PST by TexasRepublic (Comrade, can you spare a crust of bread?)
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To: skeeter

The EPA wants to have a Pass The Gas Tax. Now that Tax rate would be based on weight and size. At least $50 for everyone in the U.S..


31 posted on 12/09/2008 4:17:46 PM PST by Captain Peter Blood
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To: Kackikat

What about people????????


32 posted on 12/09/2008 4:18:21 PM PST by Captain Peter Blood
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To: egannacht; cabojoe; Conspiracy Guy; Lady Jag; glock rocks; MeekOneGOP; sam_paine; ...

Hey guys, this thread is a gas.

Flatulance
Aroma
Recycling
Tax

Pinging my humor ping list - freepmail me if you want on or off this list.
(This is usually a low volume ping, as I don’t search for humor threads, but I do ping when I find something really funny.)


33 posted on 12/09/2008 9:03:12 PM PST by RebelTex (:^D)
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To: RebelTex

34 posted on 12/09/2008 9:13:43 PM PST by egannacht
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To: stillafreemind

Imposing a tax on air used to be a joke. The freaking aliens of the left are insane. I have lived near dairy’s in the South and Cotton Gins in the West. They both stink, yet provide hard money to the local economy. I am amazed at the stupidity of the people that want this.


35 posted on 12/09/2008 9:20:41 PM PST by eyedigress (All I want for Christmas is a nice blue barrel rifle.)
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To: skeeter

but really it's funny in a sick way

36 posted on 12/09/2008 11:27:14 PM PST by egannacht
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To: stillafreemind
They are setting a threshold..if you own 25 dairy or 50 beef cattle, you would meet that threshold.

Why those cattle are wild!

I do sell 'packaged' hunts, though...

37 posted on 12/09/2008 11:50:31 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: Captain Peter Blood
The EPA wants to have a Pass The Gas Tax. Now that Tax rate would be based on weight and size. At least $50 for everyone in the U.S..

Now, if they did something like that I'd have to go on a diet--of pastrami, chilli (with beans), and pickled eggs, and go visit D.C. just to ride in all the official elevators.

38 posted on 12/09/2008 11:52:41 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: egannacht

LOL


39 posted on 12/10/2008 3:17:19 AM PST by RebelTex (:^D)
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To: Allegra; ErnBatavia

What about taxing boys? (and in our family’s case, girls), or for that matter have you ever fed your cat canned seafood flavoured stuff? Gawd, that should be taxed!!! I mean, there’s no limit here: tax Taco Bell meals, in Britain, tax everything (I mean it already is)but tax beans because they put ‘em on everything! Some cold remedies cause serious bust-ups so I suppose they should be taxed too...this is beyond ridiculous! Farmers will no longer be able to raise cattle so therfore I suppose we will have to cut down on beef so then we will have to cut the cheese instead (so to speak). I’ll bet PETA is behind this.


40 posted on 12/10/2008 10:20:50 AM PST by wazoo1031
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To: wazoo1031; Allegra

Sam’s Club pizza has got to be in the revenue stream....they produce those high moisture-content results. (Shart alert is in order)


41 posted on 12/10/2008 10:44:28 AM PST by ErnBatavia ("Zero"..STILL using that stupid "Office of The President Elect" podium....)
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To: Smokin' Joe

Whoa! Pickled eggs, that’s INTENSE!!!;-)I gather you would be in the higher tax bracket...


42 posted on 12/10/2008 10:50:20 AM PST by wazoo1031
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To: wazoo1031
Actually, on that diet, I'd probably be interned at Dugway as a WMD...

The most potent ones are sold from large jars on the on the back bar...but can be obtained from food service companies in bulk (gallon jars).

Dangerous...Mrs. Joe will adamantly resist any attempt by me to stock them at home. (8^D)

43 posted on 12/10/2008 11:16:45 AM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: ErnBatavia; Allegra

The ready-made or frozen? Sorry, I haven’t been to Sam’s in about 4 years...I remember going with my friends who had “membership cards” and eating a meal of little doughy samples of all kinds of crap, actually I had a job promoting some of that crap at one time...they put gaseous little bubbles in the dough, don’t they? PPPFFFFFTTTT!!! I also remember going through the aisles and thinking I could buy enough tampons to last me through menopause...I didn’t.


44 posted on 12/10/2008 12:08:49 PM PST by wazoo1031
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To: Smokin' Joe; Allegra; ErnBatavia; Scotsman

Y’know, just a normal ol’ hard boiled egg can turn me into a disgusting juvenile, so I can’t and don’t want to know the outcome of me eating pickled ones. Do they taste like kosher dill pickles? Because I can eat those all freakin’ day...In Britain they have “Scotch Eggs”, and no I won’t even go there any time soon! It’s something repulsive like a boiled egg wrapped in a pork pasty and I’m sure there is some sort of stomach lining involved, GROSS!!!! However I’m sure “Scotsman” can clear this up for us and he can also tell us how gaseous the aforementioned eggs are...:-)


45 posted on 12/10/2008 12:16:27 PM PST by wazoo1031
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To: wazoo1031
Think a boiled egg, pickled. It is the best of both worlds, and for added zip, chase/intermingle it with either chilli peppers (yellow, pickled--I like Mezzetta's) or pepperocini peppers. You can hire yourself out as an exterminator for the next 12-24 hours after that starts percolating...

I no longer drink, but draft beer used to add a punch that would drop birds in flight.

46 posted on 12/10/2008 2:14:50 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: Captain Peter Blood

There are some pretty stinky people out there..lol


47 posted on 12/10/2008 2:25:55 PM PST by Kackikat (.It's NOT over until it's over and it's NOT over yet....The Trumpet will sound....)
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Comment #48 Removed by Moderator

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