Posted on 12/19/2008 2:26:42 PM PST by Libloather
Something else for Al Gore to worry about
December 19, 2008
letter to the editor
I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but I have detected a new crisis that I have named "the daylight change crisis". I first noticed it sometime around the end of June this year. I started paying attention and created computer models and sure enough I was right! We are losing daylight at an astonishing rate. Each day we are losing approximately 2 minutes of day light and my computer models predict total darkness by next July.
I have been able to detect this phenomenon around the entire Northern Hemisphere. And here is the scary part: the day light appears to be leaking to the Southern Hemisphere.
I thought I should bring it to the attention of great scientists like Al Gore so he can help solve this new crisis.
Richard Strimple
That isn't considered 'global warming'. Get with the program.
I get my light credits from God.
See “I Saw the Light” by Hank Williams Sr.
Be careful what you wish for.
St. algore and the priests of gaia will have us all going back to wind up clocks to stop the temporal flux and using degaussing coils to fight the pole reversal.
You forgot to factor in the amount of light generated by vehicle headlights. I ran it through the computer; the result is that the loss of sunlight is equally balanced
by nighttime headlights. Nothing to fear here.
I wish for Algore to wake up. Is that too much to ax?
Maybe we can sell “daylight credits”.
While on the subject of scientific myths and conundrums, I’d be interested in anyone’s scientific explanation for why many people naturally feel like the periods of time - particularly a year - seems to go by faster as we get older. (I do have my own exlanation).
This is hysterical but these idiots are in charge. AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGG
As the original article by Richard Strimple revealed:
I started paying attention and created computer models and sure enough I was right! We are losing daylight at an astonishing rate. Each day we are losing approximately 2 minutes of day light and my computer models predict total darkness by next July.
I'm way ahead of all of y'all.
I've been working on the daylight loss problem (can't reveal how or with what), and a solution is due in three days, guaranteed.
Keep taking your measurements, and if the days don't start getting longer again by Monday, 12/22, I'll gladly refund whatever money you sent me.
OK, folks, since our initial solution in December 2008 (which we have religiously tweaked twice yearly to maintain daylight equilibrium), we here at Bubba-Gump Software® have come up with a semi-permanent solution to the Daylight Change Crisis (DCC). Our semi-annual tests with Daylight Equilibrium Adjustments (DEA) appear to solve both the Daylight Loss Crisis (DLC) over the continental USA, as well as the Perpetual Daylight Problem (PDP) over Australia and other southern nations.
We have prepared both a manual and an automated solution to the problem. Recent research has revealed that even when we become immersed in total 24-hour darkness in the USA, we can load up forty jetliners to fly to Australia or some other southern country for the needed daylight for about 2000 people each trip, for the low, low price of $200 Million per day. Unfortunately, this solution will only benefit the privileged few, and the vast majority of taxpayers will be left in the dark, literally.
Our more cost effective solution provides an automated method for maintaining Daylight Incremental Equilibrium (DIE) for all the people living in the USA, rich and poor, and for those in the southern countries, all for the even lower, lower semi-annual cost of $200 Million.
As with our previous prototype testing, our solution is guaranteed to stop and reverse the Daylight Loss in the continental USA by December 22 each year. Further adjustments will need to be made in the Spring of each year to ensure we don't overshoot into 24-hour Total Damn Daylight (TDD), which would be comparable to the PDP experienced by the Australians, but they won't let us use their labeling system without royalties.
We believe the taxpayers will be grateful for the Assured Reasonable Balance of Daylight and Darkness (ARBDAD), and will happily fork over the maintenance fees for our technical assistance.
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