Posted on 12/23/2008 12:09:15 AM PST by goldstategop
exactly.
Today is our 20th anniversary, and reading this thread makes all the more grateful for the man I’m with.
He knows how to make me forget about the laundry.
Happy anniversary! Ours is next February.
No, I get that point.
But lots of women make themselves heroes in how much they can juggle, how full they can make their plates —ensuring that their mind is constantly elsewhere. That sounds like ‘not being in the mood’.
I think the point is that women don’t understand men as well as they think, and frequently they don’t want to even be bothered to understand. Frustration on either side is unacceptable. I think we can agree on that.
Well - like all analogies, it has it’s flaws.
A husband is not a “buddy” - agreed.
I’m only trying to illustrate that for women there is more of a mind-body connection that needs to engage which is less prevalent for the men.
” I wonder if making love with the husband is even ON many wives’ “list,” and if so, where on that it list it is placed in priority. If it isn’t on the list, the chance of getting it “done” is pretty low.”
True.
And I said in a previous post - I don’t disagree with the entire article.
I only disagree with the part where he seems to discount the women’s mood as a factor.
“Very few wives have to wonder if their husband would like to have sex on a particular day”
I’ve heard some women make that complaint.
” Failing to make time for him, knowing that it is important, is no different than telling him he just doesn’t matter.”
I’m not saying women are blameless.
This is a two way street.
What I’m arguing with is this notion that women should drop everything and “take one for the team”
Where is the romance in that?
Both people need to be attentive to each other.
Both people need to be concerned with their partner’s needs and what it takes to get them to respond.
“But lots of women make themselves heroes in how much they can juggle, how full they can make their plates”
generalize much?
that wasn’t what I was trying to do at all.
Prager is right on the money. Marriage is a union that includes the physical aspect and he is absolutely right about its significance.
I’ve seen what happens when wives no longer believe it’s an important part.
Frankly, it’s appalling to hear a married friend tell you he didn’t get married to become a monk.
It either gets rectified or it leads to divorce. And too many women think they “can have it all” and ignore the role of wife to husband.
Frankly, how that happens is astounding to me. Thus I am the last of the unmarried guys and less naive now from others’ experience.
It also seems to be part of an American sense of entitlement not seen in other places.
“I think the point is that women don’t understand men as well as they think, and frequently they don’t want to even be bothered to understand. Frustration on either side is unacceptable. I think we can agree on that.”
And the point female freeps are making is that men don’t understand women as well as they think.
So we’re all in the same boat I guess.
thank you!
Heck - our husbands have to be good if they’re going to get us to forget about the pain of labor and delivery thingy.
The common statement is that getting married kills a woman's sex drive (according the men who complain). It's not that we're not always in the mood, but being grabbed at like bread dough and expected to get all hot and bothered by it just isn't going to work. Just like before the marriage, women still like the attentiveness. The hair stroking, the sweetness, a kiss for no reason. Things that were done before getting married and often forgotten, but it's not deemed as necessary anymore. It might work wonders for both if couples remembered how things were when the first fell in love and kept working on that.
Because women do have high sex drives. It just works differently. (i.e., a man might get in the mood over any physical sensation. women tend to go more by the senses of sound, smell, and touch. which is why a sexy voice, cologne, or those cheesy love songs often work)
Nonsense. It is your married male friends who appear to consider themselves entittled. If you have ANY talent in the sack, and you marry the right woman, she will WANT to make love most of the time. Prager needs a female anatomy lesson and maybe he would get more from Mrs. Prager.
I think I agree with every point you have made. I might quibble about “taking one for the team” only in this regard: Sometimes you may be invited to a party that you don’t want to attend. If you stop by “just to make an appearance” (or, as Raymond on the TV show says, “bring a ‘gift’”) you might decide that the party is pretty fun after all.
The most important part, though, as you noted, is that it IS a two way street.
LOL! I have had times when my husband would complain that he was deprived, yet we were doing more than the average.
Anesthesia, as we’ve discussed in the past.
My husband is very good, and getting better with age, as long as he remembers to take his vitamins.
“It either gets rectified or it leads to divorce. And too many women think they “can have it all” and ignore the role of wife to husband.”
I wouldn’t agree that fits the definition of “having it all.”
Most women I know like sex.
” Sometimes you may be invited to a party that you don’t want to attend. If you stop by “just to make an appearance” (or, as Raymond on the TV show says, “bring a ‘gift’”) you might decide that the party is pretty fun after all.”
agreed.
And I can think of times where that has worked both ways over the years.
LOL! I am betting the lack of mood is 90% of the time just being too dog tired. Especially when one has been used as a jungle gym for children all day.
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