Unthinkable [British and French Nuke Subs Collide]

UK SUN ^ | 2/15/2009 | TOM NEWTON DUNN

[Velveeta]

BRITISH and French nuclear submarines which collided deep under the Atlantic could have sunk or released deadly radioactivity, it emerged last night. The Royal Navy’s HMS Vanguard and the French Navy’s Le Triomphant are both nuclear powered and were carrying nuke missiles.

Between them they had around 250 sailors on board.

[Enterprise]

All together now - AND THE FRENCH IMMEDIATELY SURRENDERED!

[omega4179]

HMS UNTHINKABLE Struck the French Navy Sub Le Grande Surrender

[TCats]

“As inquiries began, naval sources said it was a millions-to-one unlucky chance both subs were in the same patch of sea.”

Just as probable as two satellites colliding in space? Given enough time I expect anything is quite probable.

[elcid1970]

This isn’t funny. How many souls on board?

[JoeProBono]

HMS Vanguard ... carries 16 Trident missiles

[Enterprise]

"How many souls on board?"

I believe they all had souls.

[Venturer]

They have both been towed in, two Captains are looking for new jobs.

[Enterprise]

LOL !!!

[Evil Slayer]

We got any out there or has bambe recalled them all?

[Ghost of Philip Marlowe]

This is horrible. Godspeed to all hands.

I don’t know what this is a greater testimony of, the inadequate sonar/radar systems of both subs for detecting other vessels in the area or the incredible stealth characteristics of both subs.

[bobby.223]

boomer “chicken” out there maybe. wait, one was a frenchy, never mind.

[willgolfforfood]

The English sub was driving on the wrong side of the ocean again.

[aposiopetic]

Franglais?

[blam]

There’s a lot more to this story than we’l ever know.

[gorush]

We saw recently an article about two satellites colliding, I wonder which of these two events was meant to minimize the other.

[Velveeta]

Evidently and fortunately, there were no injuries.

[Cicero]

If the article is to be credited, this amounts to 25% of the UK’s nuclear deterrent, since I presume that any remaining land-based missiles could probably be taken out. I confess that I haven’t kept up with the nuclear deterrant question for several decades, so I don’t know that for sure.

“Vanguard is one of Britain’s four V-Class subs forming our Trident nuclear deterrent. Each is armed with 16 ballistic missiles.”

If this really was in mid-Atlantic, it’s an extraordinary thing to have happened.

[Velveeta]

Yeesh - that’s a powerful load.

[shielagolden]

you bet

[Viking2002]

'But modern anti-sonar technology is so good it is possible neither boat “saw” the other.'

But since neither country is currently involved in a shooting war, don't ya think it would be a good idea to hit the 'off' switch on that shit? Or at least honk your horn?

[Velveeta]

....and new underwear...

[Evil Slayer]

Get Jack Bauer on the case, immediately.

[GSP.FAN]

I never got around to posting this,could be connected. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/4547649/French-fighter-planes-grounded-by-computer-virus.html French fighter planes grounded by computer virus.. The French newspaper Ouest France said the virus had hit the internal computer network at the French Navy. Jérome Erulin, French navy spokesman told the paper: "It affected exchanges of information but no information was lost. It was a security problem we had already simulated. We cut the communication links that could have transmitted the virus and 99 per cent of the network is safe." However, the French navy admitted that during the time it took to eradicate the virus, it had to return to more traditional forms of communication: telephone, fax and post.

[SkyPilot]

I really don't see this as a “comedy” thread. What is with all the jokes and the “LOLs!”

Some decent and brave men may be injured, maimed, or dying.

[Evil Slayer]

“One if by land. Two if by sea”

[Secret Agent Man]

Or,

HMS BENDOVERFOR ISLAM beheaded the French sub Laisse Faire.

[GSP.FAN]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/4547649/French-fighter-planes-grounded-by-computer-virus.html

That should be better?

[Timocrat]

The naval source said: “Crashing a nuclear submarine is as serious as it gets.”

Oh really ?

[cripplecreek]

Is it possible that they were being environmentally sensitive and not using their best sonar to avoid offending the sea people.

[Nuc1]

Don’t they drive on different sides of the road?

[Velveeta]

Indeed.

[Enterprise]

LOL!!!

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

...quelle merde!

[ThomasThomas]

Maybe they should have thought about it.

[Carley]

All survived.

Suggestion is that the anti sonar technology hid them from each other.

[naturalman1975]

Just to set your mind at rest - no serious injuries. But I agree the jokes are a bit much.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

All hands have been reported safe (in one reply). The captains’ careers may not survive.

[arthurus]

Frenchies play chicken all the time but it isn ot the same chicken we are used to.

[Big_Monkey]

Those near-deck mounted canards really make that thing look very ominous and beastly.

[TheConservativeParty]

“How many souls on board?” I believe they all had souls.

Reminds me of the corny joke Gramps used on us kids every time he drove us by a cemetery. He’d say “Hey kids, how many dead in that cemetery?” after we’d start estimating the count of headstones he’d say “ALL of them!”.

[Euker]

No, the Brits are on the wrong side, right?

[athelass]

I thought the same thing. Down in the very last paragraph they say they did NOT lose the subs or the crews. It’s a “what if”. Geez. Leave it to the Brits to be cryptic.

[the OlLine Rebel]

Never heard of the 24 on the Ohio class?

[MARTIAL MONK]

So they were watching pr0n?

[Nuc1]

Based upon the writeup I doubt there were any serious injuries if any at all.

[csmusaret]

Right, but it happened two weeks ago.

[LZ_Bayonet]

"Suggestion is that the anti sonar technology hid them from each other."

You mean it wasn't sonar failure caused by GLOBAL WARMING? Just wait a few days; everything bad is caused by Global Warming.

[the OlLine Rebel]

“could have sunk or released deadly radioactivity, it emerged last night.”

This is really a poor choice of words...

[Big_Monkey]

"Is it possible that they were being environmentally sensitive and not using their best sonar to avoid offending the sea people."

I think a more likely scenario was that the Brits were hammered and the French were fornicating with themselves - sorry all Brits.