Posted on 03/11/2009 7:11:52 PM PDT by Aussie Dasher
No, CO is right. Just about every study of rates of deliquency, addiction and welfare dependency shows that even authoritarian, unhappy and horrid parents are better (overall) than single parents. Being bashed and yelled at by an abusive father is very damaging, but most people who suffer like that can move on and rebuild their lives. No so those raised amid instability and a succession of "mother's boyfriends."
Communities where single mothers are the norm become absolute nightmares. There is a level of disadvantage which no amount of money can fix.
This is a crisis in Western civilization and we need to address it - all of us, right across the political spectrum.
This is one of the most horrible posts I’ve ever read. You should be ashamed of yourself.
It’s things like this that give Conservatives a bad name......
In a very sad way thats correct. True of all the national level politicians children, R or D, sick as that might be.
Correct, but it's kind of pointless now. Since Palin entered the race, there's been a huge shift on this issue on the R side, no matter how many deny it.
Ultimately, it will make some people more accepting of this kind of situation. Whether or not that's a good thing overall, it's actually correcting the attitude you mention. We can't be pro-life and then castigate those who, out of wedlock, don't choose abortion.
Just call it growing pains.
“The reality is that, while there are exceptions, children are better off even with abusive fathers than without them.”
I would like to see the statistics on this statement. Link or source would be helpful. I have never read or seen any documentation of what you have just stated....just the opposite.
I had a feeling this was coming.
I know the baby won’t be on welfare, but it’s likely the boy will be permanently angry/upset at his father for flaking out, or at the Palins, if he decides that they pushed his father away. Obviously, kids need emotional health and stability in addition to diapers & food.
It’s sad that the culture often champions the view that it’s cruel, or “abandonment,” or unnatural to give the baby up for adoption, when in fact it gives the baby a better life. Often, the single mothers keeping these babies are doing it for self-focused reasons: to hold onto a connection with the father; to obtain what they believe will be unconditional love from the baby, because that is missing in their own lives; and, in some circles, for status. None of this is good for the baby.
My cousin is adopted & has always been grateful & relieved that things turned out that way - even though her biological father was wealthy & could have provided for her.
Friends of mine adopted a baby who was, I believe, the third illegitimate child of a young single mother. The grandparents were in the picture, so there was an extended family presence. The mother and grandfather thought they should keep the baby in the family, since they’d gone down that path before. Fortunately, the grandmother realized that wasn’t turning out well for the 2 older kids, so she stepped in and successfully lobbied for the adoption, knowing the baby would have a better life with my more mature, stable, responsible, married friends. Now, he is the focus of his adoptive parents’ lives. He definitely seems to thrive on the balance of having both parents readily available. He has attention & opportunity that he would not have had in the single parent home. As a result, he is precocious, well-mannered and very self-confident. It seems cruel to think of stifling his potential in the name of leaving him where he landed at birth.
I will reply to this tomorrow. Tis late and I have to get up early.
Not against adoption but have some arguements as to why I would not.
Have a great evening.
As I said, I'm completing a book right now on a completely separate topic (18hr days). There is enough documentation on this topic that I'm sure if you are truly curious you will find it. See post #101; you may want to ask Black Veil.
All abusive fathers, without exception, should lose custody of their children forever. In addition, you seem to be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Get some help.
Agreed. And sad.
because she’s not poor and on welfare is no excuse, they need to get married and deal with the consequences.
You are so wrong I don't even know where to start. Your "studies" are fictions, your statement is padded with the parenthetical use of the conditional term "overall" and your flip dismissal of "people who suffer like that" is clearly based on rank ignorance. In fact, parental abuse is so horrific precisely because trauma experienced as a child from parents destroys fundamental trust. As a result, it escapes even the best efforts of the adult to reach it with almost any therapies and becomes ever more toxic over time, leading to the generational destruction of families. You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.
“There is enough documentation on this topic that I’m sure if you are truly curious you will find it. See post #101; you may want to ask Black Veil.”
I am not going to waste my time looking for something that I KNOW does not exist in reality.
Interesting post.
This is one of the most horrible posts I’ve ever read. You should be ashamed of yourself.No ill will intended. However, conservatives should leave the namby-pambyism to the liberals. Actions have consequences and those consequences are different for different people. That's reality.It’s things like this that give Conservatives a bad name......
Not good. I won't be changing my opinion that it's better in most instances for the parents in such cases to either marry or give the baby up for adoption. But if the father won't agree to the marriage, in this instance, there is little that can be done.
Years ago men felt it was their responsibility to do so in such situations. Not today. Most unfortunate.
Years ago most men felt the responsibility to marry in such situations and did. Not today. As a society we need to reverse the current trend and again raise responsible men and women.
Great idea. How can this be done?
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