By JoJo Shabbidyboo
CNN.com
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
With chewed bits of Milky Way flying happily from his lips, the son of robbed presidential candidate Al Gore made his claim to be the new voice of moderation and hipness for the Democratic Party.
"I'm so friggin' in touch with today's Generalization Y crowd! And I'm young, slighty roundish in a fun way, and I like to party! I'm the left wing Meghan McCain and I'd like some freaking airtime."
"Two words – "freaking legalize it!" That's my message to today's undecided young voters. The Democratic Party needs to absorb my message into its very derma, man."
the Democratic Party, Al Gore III pronounced, "Dude!" to all in attendance.
Another issue that animates the vibrant young voice of his generation is grape soda.
"Grape soda rocks! Rocks harder with vodka! I'm the Grape Ape, full of stoli and interesting positions on the issues! Woooo!"
"Like this one time, my moms… she was swatting some imaginary flies around her head, and I said, 'Nehi Tips. Grape Nehi-Stoli and she liked it and calmed down. That's the sort of thing that’s missing from the Democratic Party's message."
Many analysts agree that the Democratic Party message is in danger of becoming stale. New, exciting personalities, like the effed-up spawn of a failed presidential candidate, may be just the messenger the party needs to bring its message to the ever expanding youth vote.
"Wooo!!" yelled Al Gore III, before vomiting onto his shoes. "Free Palestinia!"