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Is My Marriage Gay?
New York Times ^ | May 12, 2009 | JENNIFER FINNEY BOYLAN

Posted on 05/13/2009 2:14:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway

AS many Americans know, last week Gov. John Baldacci of Maine signed a law that made this state the fifth in the nation to legalize gay marriage. It’s worth pointing out, however, that there were some legal same-sex marriages in Maine already, just as there probably are in all 50 states. These are marriages in which at least one member of the couple has changed genders since the wedding.

I’m in such a marriage myself and, quite frankly, my spouse and I forget most of the time that there is anything particularly unique about our family, even if we are — what is the phrase? — “differently married.”

Deirdre Finney and I were wed in 1988 at the National Cathedral in Washington. In 2000, I started the long and complex process of changing from male to female. Deedie stood by me, deciding that her life was better with me than without me. Maybe she was crazy for doing so; lots of people have generously offered her this unsolicited opinion over the years. But what she would tell you, were you to ask, is that the things that she loved in me have mostly remained the same, and that our marriage, in the end, is about a lot more than what genders we are, or were.

Deirdre is far from the only spouse to find herself in this situation; each week we hear from wives and husbands going through similar experiences together. Reliable statistics on transgendered people always prove elusive, but just judging from my e-mail, it seems as if there are a whole lot more transsexuals — and people who love them — in New England than say, Republicans. Or Yankees fans.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: homosexualmarriage; loophole; sexchange

1 posted on 05/13/2009 2:14:11 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway
Deirdre Finney and I were wed in 1988 at the National Cathedral in Washington. In 2000, I started the long and complex process of changing from male to female.

I had to read this a couple of times.

2 posted on 05/13/2009 2:16:41 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: nickcarraway
These are marriages in which at least one member of the couple has changed genders since the wedding.

People don't change genders, they simply have surgery to change the appearance of gender. They are not changing DNA. It is no more changing genders as this guy is changing species.

3 posted on 05/13/2009 2:17:22 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: nickcarraway

So now we have to be politically correct about trans-whatever spouses. How special.

How about we just keep this type of thing private?

Love how he/she gets his/her digs in about the lack of Republicans in New England.


4 posted on 05/13/2009 2:18:14 PM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: nickcarraway

Disgusting.


5 posted on 05/13/2009 2:19:03 PM PDT by pgkdan ( I miss Ronald Reagan!)
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To: nickcarraway
Ahh yes, using “trans-gendered” to muddy the water as much as possible.
6 posted on 05/13/2009 2:19:24 PM PDT by Brett66 (Where government advances, and it advances relentlessly , freedom is imperiled -Janice Rogers Brown)
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To: nickcarraway

It is impossible to biologically change your gender. You can change your body’s appearance but your still a Man therefore your not “Gay Married”.


7 posted on 05/13/2009 2:19:31 PM PDT by RC51
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To: pgkdan

Worse than that.


8 posted on 05/13/2009 2:20:16 PM PDT by BARLF
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To: nickcarraway
The author with Slick, he'd hit it...

9 posted on 05/13/2009 2:21:09 PM PDT by Slicksadick (Go out on a limb........Its where the fruit is.)
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To: Slicksadick

Which one had the sex change?


10 posted on 05/13/2009 2:22:19 PM PDT by BARLF
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To: nickcarraway

Despite my tagline, I actually think we’re all now living on the Island of Dr. Moreau.


11 posted on 05/13/2009 2:23:16 PM PDT by Argus (We've gone downtown to Clown Town, and that's where we'll be living from now on..)
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To: nickcarraway
marriages in which at least one member of the couple has changed genders since the wedding

This sounds a perfect theme for one of the daily installments of white-trash-talk TV, along with mothers who slept with their daughter's boyfriends, women who slept with their husband's brothers, skinny guys who are "turned on" by obese women, people who just can't decide if they're really male or female and would like the studio audience's help, etc. And of course the sequel would be "marriages in which BOTH members of the couple have changed genders since the wedding".

12 posted on 05/13/2009 2:23:22 PM PDT by GovernmentShrinker
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To: BARLF

13 posted on 05/13/2009 2:23:57 PM PDT by Slicksadick (Go out on a limb........Its where the fruit is.)
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To: nickcarraway
I found it completely intellectually dishonest when the newsies, Oprah, etc. would refer to the transgendered ‘woman to man’ as a pregnant male. You can't change your DNA. You were born one gender and you will die the same gender.

I would also like to point out that in no state have the people voted to allow ‘gay marriage’ Only judges have decreed that ‘gay marriage’ is legal. We need to take back our country from activist judges making laws that the voters don't want.

14 posted on 05/13/2009 2:23:57 PM PDT by originalbuckeye
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To: martin_fierro

Jennifer, You are a man who mutilated himself. I suppose it is your right to do so, but it is not the rest of us who are confused. We are not confused at all.


15 posted on 05/13/2009 2:25:12 PM PDT by Old North State
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To: mnehring

“People don’t change genders, they simply have surgery to change the appearance of gender. They are not changing DNA. It is no more changing genders as this guy is changing species.”

Bingo. We have to keep making these factual statements, loud and often. A man can’t become a woman. After “sex change” surgery, he is a just a poor, confused amputee. You can’t change a man into a woman through cosmetic surgery (or vice-versa) any more than you can change a horse into a zebra by painting stripes on it.

This is all just lunacy. The inmates have taken over the asylum, and the same people are too intimidated to say anything.


16 posted on 05/13/2009 2:25:28 PM PDT by lady lawyer
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To: nickcarraway

Freaks. You don’t have to go to the Circus to see them anymore.


17 posted on 05/13/2009 2:25:39 PM PDT by Palladin (Father Pavone is my hero.)
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To: Slicksadick

18 posted on 05/13/2009 2:25:53 PM PDT by Slicksadick (Go out on a limb........Its where the fruit is.)
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To: lady lawyer

that’s “sane people”


19 posted on 05/13/2009 2:26:37 PM PDT by lady lawyer
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To: nickcarraway

Yes, dear. Your marriage is gay, in the broadest and most colloquial sense. Bless your heart.


20 posted on 05/13/2009 2:26:42 PM PDT by Tax-chick ("Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge."~Pr. 14:7)
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To: Slicksadick

Bill should stick with Monica........well not sure about that...


21 posted on 05/13/2009 2:29:51 PM PDT by BARLF
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To: Slicksadick

Gee whiz! You need to warn us.

I made the mistake of zooming in on that photo - ugh!

Never again.


22 posted on 05/13/2009 2:32:33 PM PDT by Ole Okie
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To: nickcarraway
Sacramental marriage is more than a union of a man and a woman; it is, in fact, a type and symbol of the divine union between Christ, the Bridegroom, and His Church, the Bride. As married Christians, open to the creation of new life and committed to our mutual salvation, we participate not only in God's creative act but in the redemptive act of Christ.

They can call it anything they like. You can call a dog a cat. "Marriage" between individuals or groups of individuals of the same sex is not a sacrament.

23 posted on 05/13/2009 2:33:30 PM PDT by Ben Mugged (The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.)
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To: nickcarraway

1 NYT

2 still genetically the same sex and therefore homosexuals.

3 NYT


24 posted on 05/13/2009 2:39:08 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: All

how many states would reject that marriage as invalid once the genetic background is exposed.

How about every state that has a DOMA


25 posted on 05/13/2009 2:41:14 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: nickcarraway

These people used to have the decency and good taste to keep their Bizarro lives confined to carnival sideshows and Democrat party conventions.


26 posted on 05/13/2009 2:47:24 PM PDT by Iron Munro (Suppose you were a clueless idiot, and suppose you were Barack Obama; but I repeat myself)
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To: nickcarraway

Sicko..if the DNA is still Male (and God created them like that), they they aren’t ‘female’ no matter how much they mutilate their body/how lost they are in reguard to their soul.


27 posted on 05/13/2009 3:16:01 PM PDT by JSDude1 (DHS, FBI, FEMA, etc have been bad little boys. They need to be spanked and sent to timeout!)
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To: nickcarraway

Anybody this confused shouldn’t have access to a keyboard.


28 posted on 05/13/2009 7:46:28 PM PDT by elkfersupper (Member of the Original Defiant Class)
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To: nickcarraway
Jennifer Finney Boylan is a professor of English at Colby College

Is anybody really shocked by any of this?

I'm ganna buy an island and if you don't have a FReeper nick you can't come to my island.

29 posted on 05/13/2009 7:56:11 PM PDT by txroadkill (#12 in 2012 Baby!)
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To: nickcarraway
"I started the long and complex process of changing from male to female. Deedie stood by me, deciding that her life was better with me than without me."

What kind of a low self-esteem doormat do you have to be to put up with that? I'm sorry to disagree with people whose motto is "divorce, never", but this surely is not contemplated in, "for better, for worse".

30 posted on 05/13/2009 8:04:44 PM PDT by hunter112 (SHRUG - Stop Hussein's Radical Utopian Gameplan!)
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