> I have found that the only thing that stops a bully is a bloody nose.
I found the same thing when I was a kid. You and I were lucky: we obviously had the skills and/or the fury necessary to give the bully a bloody nose (or broken teeth, in my case).
“Christianizing” bullies is great fun if you can do it. There are alot of kids who can’t, and if they ever tried the bully would thump them even harder, for longer. For kids in that unfortunate situation some alternative strategy needs to be figured out.
I used to think I knew what that strategy should be. Now I’m not so sure.
You are wrong about them hitting harder if you are unable to actually beat their butts. If the bully is alone, not with a gang, then fighting back is what it takes to stop it. If you make him/her(yep, there are female bullies) pay a price sooner or later he/she will learn that picking on you is to costly and they will go off to seek easier prey. I know, I was the small guy when I was growing up, I attracted bullies like iron filings to a magnet, but I always fought back and usually only had to do it once to a bully.
If there is a gang of bullies the rules change and you probably need to seek help in the form of friends, or if that fails, a weapon of some sort.
That's where baseball bats, 2x4s, coin rolls in socks, and pieces of furniture come in...
Paul Kersey for President!
My son was getting picked on a couple of years ago by the “class bully”. Just verbal stuff, but it bothered him a lot. We helped him work out some ideas, but after having him talking to the kid, avoiding the kid, etc. didn’t work we all figured talking to the teacher about it was best. (My son didn’t want to be a “snitch”, but we promised it would be confidential).
The teacher had known something was going on but didn’t think it was all that bad. When she heard our story she was able to put the pieces together of what she had seen - with other kids too. The bully and his parents were brought into a meeting with the teacher and were told if there was one more complaint the bully was out of school (it was a select program).
The kid did fine afterwards, lots of deeper family issues, etc. But - he needed to have it shown to him what behaviour was expected of him, and that there would be serious consequences if that behaviour was not met.
Sometimes the serious consequence is a bloody nose. Other times it is getting kicked out of school. My son and the ex-bully now seek each other out for class projects, etc.