> You are wrong about them hitting harder if you are unable to actually beat their butts. If the bully is alone, not with a gang, then fighting back is what it takes to stop it.
I used to be of a similar view, that fighting back was the only way to stop bullies, and that it would work 100% of the time.
Then I became privy to a situation where fighting back only made the problem worse for the poor kid who tried it. Instead of feeling empowered by fighting back, he felt even more pathetic and weak because the bully was able to overpower him so easily.
And, naturally, the bully has stepped up his onslaught.
Ever see the movie “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”? — it’s a situation not too different to that. Except there’s nobody there to do the John Wayne thing.
It’s certainly challenged a few of my paradigms.
“he felt even more pathetic and weak because the bully was able to overpower him so easily. And, naturally, the bully has stepped up his onslaught.”
Well, yeah, the sine qua non of this approach is the assumption that, when you fight back, you deal the bully some serious pain. Even if you then lose the fight.
If the kid that is being bullied cannot do that, then either someone needs to do it on his behalf, or adults need to step in with strong sanctions that also protect the weaker kid from the bully.