Take your wife and daughter out shooting and be prepared to be bested by both of them. The few gals that I would take out shooting were very good the first time out. My wife included.
With all adults in the house I would prefer the shotgun loaded, one in the chamber. The sound of the shotgun chambering a round only lets the bad guys know where you are. A gun is to kill, not to scare. Opinions will vary. And 00 Buck Shot is readily available and will put a bad guy down. It will also go through sheetrock walls so have a plan in place and know where your safe shooting zones are. I used to think #4 Birdshot was good, but upon further searching find out it will not penetrate to a bad guy’s vital organs - but very well might chase him off wounded. Again, the use of a firearm is to stop the threat (kill imho) - not chase off, scare, etc.