[DieHard the Hunter]

> Men should urinate outside on their compost heaps to help fertilise their gardens and save on flushing the lavatory, the National Trust has urged.

Don’t waste it on compost heaps: instead pee on the roses. They thrive on the nitrates and will reward your efforts with amazing blooms.

It’s true.

[Cailleach]

too bad all of my Roses are in my front yard... :P

[I Buried My Guns]

My roses are right by the fence; my neighbors on that side already irritated with me, maybe because I take the laundry out (to the laundry room in the detached garage) in my underwear all the time. We have those chain link fences that are about 4 feet high, and do nothing to hide my pale, pale booty.

So yeah, I pee in a cup and dump it, remembering always to dilute.

[wrench]

Who knew Billy Carter had it right all along?

[domenad]

If you want a REALLY good source of nitrates....a human body is a fantastic source. It's an old Agatha Christie plot tool - the wide, gorgeous blooms of a rose bush nutured and fed by a body buried underneath. And if you can get an ObamaCare democrat by himself.....

GYAH! The voices! Where are my pills!

[afraidfortherepublic]

When we lived in Berkeley 40 years ago, I had a beautiful camellia bush in the back yard. My neighbor (who had a birdseye view of our postage stamp yard from her kitchen) assured me that the reason that particular bush was so beautiful was because the previous owner peed on it every night after dinner.