Posted on 12/09/2009 6:07:05 AM PST by steve-b
Cheating scenario, 1989:
There were errant signs. Like the times you phoned the office and it rang and rang ("I was in the conference room," he said), like the matchbooks from places with names like the Candlelight Inn, where you'd never been. There were always plausible explanations. Work lunches! Work trips! Work lipstick! You wondered if you were crazy. There was so much wondering. Months, maybe years of uncertainty.
Cheating scenario, 2009:
I found your text messages, Jerk boy. Pack your bags.
There are so many questions about Tiger Woods's reported affairs. (A cocktail waitress? Really? Have you seen his wife? And who knew Swedes could get so angry?!) But perhaps what's most vexing is related to the saucy missives waitress Jaimee Grubbs claims were sent to her by the professional golfer.
Specifically: What kind of nitwit celebrity would still leave an e-trail?...
"The first thing my partner and I said," Mike Russell says. "We said, 'Wait, he's got all that money and he doesn't have a bat phone?' " -- the secret cell kept just for booty calls.
Russell is a private investigator in Alexandria. He uncovers cheating, or verifies what the wronged parties usually already know....
Because the cheaters never have a bat phone. They never seem to realize how nakedly traceable their actions are. (It's like sex tapes. Post-Paris Hilton, post-Eric Dane, post-Carrie Prejean, why do people still make sex tapes? Have they never heard of YouTube? Do they think they still have zones of privacy? Ha ha ha, that's cute.)...
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...
9 mulligans. C’mon Tiger, even I don’t take Mulligans.
A good cautionary note to those cheaters out there. It’s easier to get caught than ever.
I am tired of the elitism in “A cocktail waitress? Really?” What is wrong with a cocktail waitress (wronger than with a porn star or a stripper or whomever else he was fooling around with)? It reminds me too much of their dismissal of other “ordinary” Americans.
I am thrilled that this is likely to wipe out at least half of Tiger’s income and perhaps as much as 90% of his endorsements. For those who haven’t done the math, there are multiple affairs that have lasted two years (none I’ve noticed that lasted longer), and Tiger’s child is two years old. It looks like the little scum said “six weeks without sex, it’ll fall off unless ...” and then kept going even once his wife recovered from giving birth. Was he jealous that the baby got more attention or more urgent responses than he did, or was he just too lazy to stay home long enough to help out with his own child?
Seeking their fifteen minutes of fame, no doubt!
Confederate Railroad
“Shoulda seen the looks on the faces of my Dad and Mom,
When I showed up at the door with a date for the senior prom.
They said: “Well, pardon us son, she ain’t no kid.
“That’s a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig.
I said: “I know it dad, ain’t she cool, that’s the kind I dig.”
Well, I guess they all better start living like the rest of us ‘cause a $$$million$$$ ain’t a $$$million$$$ anymore.
I would add Kim Kardashian to that all-star list. Seriously, outside of her porn with her rap-star ex-whatever, what talent does she have?
crickets......
One of my wife’s best friends is a Private Detective who specializes in “checking people out.” Her main customers for those checkouts are spouses and business partners. She says that her job is incredibly easy these days thanks to GPS enabled cellphones and the internet.
Just to be the devil’s advocate, I think the media and casual observers want to believe the most salacious tidbits found on the net,in the Star, or the National Inquirer, to be solid fact.
The relationships described so far are not “one night stands”. They take a lot of maintenance. Carrying on multiple long term relationships in a given time period demands energy, money, opportunity, availability, time, psychological compartmentalization, and a cadre of enablers.
While some of these may be written off as non-factors in Woods’ case, it does not explain how all of these reported liaisons can be true.
It will never happen, but if all the women give up their information and the times and dates are overlay-ed (sorry), some or many will be found to be lying or Tiger Woods’ is one “magnificent bastard”.
For those of you who have carried on an elicit relationship for any period of time, think of the strain that it put you under and multiply that by two, four, six, eight, ten, or whatever the final tally will be and perform at the highest level of his sport in all it’s history and ask yourself, “Is this probable?” Much of the media fodder out there will be found to be in the “fifteen minutes of fame” or the “huatling a buck” (as in the porn actress’ case - what do you think her website hit could will be?)category.
To be able to pull all of this off, one has to be a narcissist in the most extreme psychiatric terms. That may very well be the case.
After having full benefit of Woods’ experience and others, the one rule to cheat by - Never creep around with someone who has less to lose than you do. (i.e. Clinton/Lewinsky).
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