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Wed column ping
Why vote for Scott Brown? Let me count the ways
By Howie Carr | Wednesday, January 13, 2010 | http://www.bostonherald.com | Columnists
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Photo by Christopher Evans

You may be a Scott Brown voter if:

* Unlike Martha Coakley’s campaign, you know how to spell “Massachusetts.”
* You’ve already voted absentee, and you’re urging all your friends to do the same by Friday, just in case.
* You think maybe Martha should be spending more time chasing criminals and less time chasing old ladies in their garden clubs.
* You know at least a few people who voted for Obama in 2008 who are now planning to use their ballot Tuesday to “repent.”
* You’re wondering why last week liberals were so angry that the word “Negro” was listed on the 2010 census form, but now that Harry Reid uses it . . . nothing to see here, folks, move along.
* You’re appalled that ex-Lynn Mayor Chip Clancy, who was fired by the voters in November, is now at age 59 going to collect a $79,200-a-year public pension, with survivor’s benefits for his wife, who by the way has a hack job of her own in the court system making $84,869.90 a year.
* You belong to a union, and they’re telling you to vote for Martha Coakley, and when you ask your pinky-ring thug business agent about the 40 percent tax she wants to impose on your “Cadillac” health plan, he slowly takes the stogie out of his mouth and says, Forget about it, da boys will take of all-a youse.
* You’re puzzled as to who killed the three U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan on Monday, because Martha Coakley said there aren’t any terrorists there anymore.
* You heard that the Amish are going to be exempt from the Obama-Coakley health rationing, and you’re wondering, how does one become Amish?
* You can’t believe any Republican would ever agree to let David Rodham Gergen moderate another debate.
* You’re angry that, when you had to take a pay cut in 2009 to keep your job, the Democrats on Beacon Hill jacked up the sales tax by 25 percent.
* You know Martha Coakley lost the debate when you hear her Kool- Aid drinking sob-sister supporters comparing her performance favorably to . . . Shannon O’Brien’s.
* You’re wondering why the cops, who should know Martha Coakley best, are all endorsing Scott Brown.
* You’re thinking that maybe, just in case, you should lay in some champagne for Tuesday - and does anyone else need anything while you’re up in New Hampshire?

Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1225238