I’ve never once got on the path to getting anywhere romantically with a woman by treating her as “special”.
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I am guessing that you and the friend you mention are “unsuccessful” because of the women you target. Men often have a problem of basing their choices mainly on looks — it’s biological, I know — so if she looks good she must be good. The flashy big-breasted, big-haired girl is often not the big-hearted girl.
Read my post after that one. Personally, I do not target women based on looks. There has to be a minimum level of health(no overeaters, extreme smokers, or alcoholics/drug addicts) but I don’t descriminate beyond that.
The problem is mentally exciting women generally seek men that are “exciting” in their own minds.