Posted on 02/26/2010 4:14:11 AM PST by Kaslin
Fox is having its usual smash with "American Idol," with this season's latest offering beating the Winter Olympics in the ratings. Paula Abdul walked off in a money dispute, Ellen DeGeneres is unexpectedly flat, and the show overall is starting to sag, but it's still just about the best thing on TV. Now there's a buzz about the best judge, Simon Cowell, leaving after this season.
Cowell is constantly booed and attacked as the nasty judge, the one who crushes young singers' dreams with his patented cutting remarks. It's also true that he is painfully honest.
Almost every "Idol" watcher looks forward to hearing Cowell offer those blunt and honest opinions every bit as much -- or even more than -- the actual performances. The other night, he responded to boos after one stinging analysis by shooting back at the audience, "I'm only saying what you're thinking." That's instantly a classic line, and very true.
It's common now to hear viewers suggest they might just stop watching the show once Cowell is gone, that the quality of the judging just will not be the same. That is definitely true if one believes the rumors circulating about the sewer where Fox is fishing for Simon Cowell replacements.
First, news reports surfaced that Fox was considering the has-been satellite radio shock jock Howard Stern to be a judge. "Yeah, I would do that show for $100 million," he said on his XM/Sirius radio program. "I can't imagine anyone else but me replacing him. ... How else are they going to make that show work?"
This Stern idea would go over like a lead balloon with parents who like "Idol" as family entertainment.
Most recently, Stern told "American Idol" Season Three winner Fantasia Barrino that she wasn't succeeding in the music business because she didn't sexually arouse teenage boys: "Hey, Fantasia, you're not getting little boys (aroused). Nobody's (masturbating) to you. You look like you stepped out of a cartoon."
A few weeks ago, Stern (age 55) wondered out loud which Disney teen favorite would provide better oral sex: Miley Cyrus (age 17) or Taylor Swift (20). Stern and his friend "Pittsburgh Pete" marveled over Cyrus' "natural" breasts. The comments spilled out on a YouTube video, but Stern supporters got it yanked.
A more common Stern segment is the porn-star interview. Stern's website highlights a recent chat with Taryn Thomas, a porn star in an X-rated parody of the MTV reality show "Jersey Shore." They discussed how Thomas had to take a two-year sabbatical from porn after her intestines were "torn open" in an anal-sex scene. Stern could only announce that the man who ripped the woman's bowels must have been proud of himself. "I've never hurt a woman with my penis. I've tried. It just doesn't work," he lamented.
Before his satellite show, his over-the-air show had lowlights like this one. "Have you ever had sex with an animal?" Stern wondered. "Don't knock it. I was sodomized by (the sock puppet) Lamb Chop."
And Fox had "no comment" about the prospect of hiring this man.
There are more fish flapping around at the bottom of this barrel. The scurrilous gossip blogger Perez Hilton -- who's echoed Stern by calling himself "Queen of All Media" -- begged for the job on MTV News. "Basically, I'm shamelessly looking for work. I'm available and I'm cheap."
Hilton is best known as the beauty-contest judge who ruined Carrie Prejean's chances at the Miss USA pageant by demanding she endorse gay marriage as the price of the crown. "She lost, not because she doesn't believe in gay marriage, Miss California lost because she's a dumb (B-word), okay?" The next day, Hilton issued a fake apology: "I was thinking the c-word and I didn't say it."
Hilton prides himself on being a "dangerous" figure of controversy. "I'm dangerous because I have no censor button and I speak the truth. And people are afraid of the truth." This is a rather ridiculous claim for a gossip who loves to draw vile sexual objects around the faces and crotches of celebrities on his blog. He drew a penis on a photo of Prejean holding a microphone.
He recently boasted of his newest blog obsession -- a large, fat, white man exposing himself in women's clothing: "(Wo)Man, an amazing wannabe tranny, who enjoys riding his banana seat around Beverly Hills with his banana out!"
Simon Cowell has that endearing kind of "meanness," the kind that comes with a wink. Howard Stern and Perez Hilton have persistently demonstrated that their nastiness is real and unmitigated by any notion of decency. If Fox wants to take an ax to the golden goose of "American Idol," putting either of these men in front of millions of families as judges on this program would be just the place to start.
What I really, REALLY don’t understand-what’s even more bizarre that using a comedienne to judge music-is the way Ellen DeGenere’s plain face is being used to sell makeup. She may or may not have comedic talent, but she certainly is not remotely pretty, having neither attractive features or a glowing complexion, and her natural plainness is made even worse by her keeping that awful “tossed salad” short choppy hair style from the early 1990s. But her plain , aging face is now the face of Cover Girl cosmetics : Not just in O magazine (she’s a friend of Ophrah) but in the more staid women’s magazines my MIL reads. Why???
AI is a glorified Karaoke contest. I just can’t watch more contestants screw up the same songs over and over again. Give me a live songwriters’ show anytime. That is where the talent lies.
I cannot watch anymore. ED (no, not erectile dysfunction, although she certainly could be a cause) is someone that I just cannot watch. Aside from her failure to be funny or intelligent or relevant or give any indication that she ever passed music appreciation, she always looks like a giant strobe light has just flashed in front of her face. I think, if Simon leaves, the show collapses. Word is, if he leaves, he will do an American version of a somewhat similar British show that he will have an ownership interest in. I guess having a kajillion dollars already is not enough.
Hicks was a great entertainer but as a recording artist, he’s a joke. Exactly as Simon predicted.
I agree with you though that he made Idol that season and the entertainment factor has been low since.
It’s painful to watch her. She has no idea what she’s doing.
Kara is an idiot trying to snuggle up to Simon since Paula left. The crying last night didn't work, either.
Agree on all counts.
Watched tonight. Bowersox looks like she’s drugged out of her mind.
I disagree, Loved Taylor he is doing great!
Liked the shy guy that was booted off tonight. He had great potential, was a mistake! I did however predict a month ago that the last 2 standing would be Lee, and nose ring girl, the one that sang House of the Rising Son
Really? “Do I Make You Proud?”
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