Posted on 04/02/2010 10:05:42 AM PDT by AJKauf
I am very sorry that Anonymous’s marriage did not work out. However, while blaming porn for every social ill and for her marriage dissolving may make her feel better, crusading for laws to make other men pay for this failure will not lead to better marriages. It will lead to even more men going underground to view porn — and feeling resentful while they do.
I think there are many reasons that marriages are not working out, but porn seems to be the least of the problems. And I wonder — does porn distort men’s attitudes as much as romance novels and Lifetime TV distort women’s? Maybe we should discuss the many social institutions that are giving women unrealistic expectations of men and a sense that they have the right to control men, and men’s sexuality, in their own interest.
What do you think?....
(Excerpt) Read more at pajamasmedia.com ...
Perhaps the reason Anonymous’s marrriage did not work out is that her husband could not figure out where to “come home” to every night.
His wife, after all, WAS “Anonymous”.
;-)
Porn is not always related to sex. It’s about feeding our perverse nature. You will find men who turn down sex in favor of porn
Does everything suddenly have to turn into a battle of the sexes? Porn is porn is porn. It ain’t good for anyone.
Who the heck is Dr. Helen?
Porn is just infidelity ‘light’. It always boils down to just one thing-character, or the lack thereof.
Yep. Even my wife has admitted to me that one of the things she doesn't like about sappy chick flicks is the unrealistic picture they paint of romance.
You've hit the nail on the head. A family member is a law enforcement officer who works in a sex crimes against minors unit. They have had a huge surge in female perpetrators (once very unusual) - who all cite pornography as the source of their sexual interest in children.
While it is sad what happened to this woman, there can be dozens of causes, including some which she may have caused.
Man is not so rapidly changing that porn is a wholly new thing under the sun.
Men are nearly infinitely sexually driven. That will always manifest itself. A wife may wish to consider how to accomodate that fact in a happy marriage, consideration of which Anonymous made no mention.
Everyone seems to agree with me so far on the thread but porn is good for nothing and is a sin. I agree with the writer of the article that romance shows and movies portray an unrealistic view of what marriage is and will be for women (and some women actually buy it to the detriment of their relationships). The fact that romances are unrealistic, however, doesn’t mean porn is somehow made better.
So-called porn “addiction” has unfortunately become a rallying cry for some conservatives as argument for prohibitive legislation.
It was less than two decades ago that conservatives were nearly monolithic in their condemnation of the ever increasing “victim culture”.. the pathologising and diseasing of things which are nothing more than selfishness, character flaws etc.
Come to think of it, I’ve heard the term “hate speech” — another canard invented by the left to stifle free speech — used far too often by conservatives recently also.
Are we trying to out snivel the left or what?
But once that porn takes hold it may not matter what Anonymous does or does not do. It’s like a drug to these people, both men and women.
or he knew and she was just not there.
a fat and let herself go ugly nag is not going to attract her husband. (no will his letting himself physically go to fat attract his wife)
cue the hellen thoms picture.
Yep, there seem to be more stories of women abusing as well.
There is a point that the lifetime channel is just as bad as the playboy channel in promoting unrealistic expectations.
Men want their wives to be nekkid and submissive.
Women want their men to be in touch with their feelings and wimpy....
Most marriges I have seen that work are more of the “partnership” ones where the husband and wife stress building their friendship more than pure lust or pure romantic fantasy.
Sexual disfunction in marriage may come from a lack of “value” on monogamy. 15 years of “playing the game” with a 6-20 partners devalues what a couple shares.
Soap Operas are porn for women
Don’t like porn?
Don’t read it or watch it.
Leave free people the hell alone.
Sexual disfunction in marriage may come from a lack of “value” on monogamy. 15 years of “playing the game” with a 6-20 partners devalues what a couple shares.
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True. The boys think it’s so cool to have all these young women. Then they get married late, and the sex life in their marriage isn’t what it should be and what will help cement the relationship and help through some of the difficult times in a marriage. So they don’t have the marriage they should . . .
Which is a heckuva lot more important than all those meaningless trysts in the past.
Probably true. His wife probably was anonymous, and instead was a roommate/supervisor doling out chores.
My working theory is that most men turn to porn and other women to fill a gap that the woman they married stopped filling. Yes porn is bad, pervasive, and probably addictive, but the root cause isn't porn itself. Some men have a real porn problem yes, but I think most the real root problem is something else.
Did she immediately start nagging him when he walked in the door? Was coming home something he looked forward to because of the caring loving wife waiting for him, or something he dreaded? Did she make coming home enjoyable or a chore?
Did she build her husband up or knock him down every chance she got? When he did or bought something nice for her was her response to do nothing, say nothing, put it away and ignore it, complain that it was the wrong color, wrong size? Does she complain to him that the dishes weren't done right, that he forgot to do a minor detail in some chore. Or does she say thank you, call him her hero, and then quietly correct the problem.
Does she belittle her husband to her friends, sister, mom, right in front of her husband, or does she refrain when he is within ear shot?
Does she turn her husband on? She probably did when they were dating or he wouldn't have married her. Why did she stop? Does she complain to him all day, and make him fill unloved, then mope when at the end of the day he doesn't feel amorous towards her? Does she do anything at all to let her husband know she wants love, affection, sex? Or does she just complain to him the he doesn't give it.
After they were married did she just let herself go because she didn't have to "work" to get a man any longer? So she's not working to keep her man and she wonders why she's losing him?
The list goes on and on.
All these people complaining about porn crack me up. Porn and isn't the problem. Porn is the symptom of other root causes. Find and fix the root cause, and the porn problem goes away eventually in most cases (the ones with real problems will need other help).
Men are very simple creatures. Food, sex, and respect. Cover those three things well and they won't stray. Stray from them and so will the man.
One of the few undomesticated animals we keep in our homes today is the human male.
In fact, the unneutered male of ANY species is likely to remain a wild, or at best, a feral creature, unable to subdue the impulses to sufficient degree at all times to be regarded as “housebroken”.
Solution? Neuter all males at about the age of eighteen, after collecting sufficent semen for any future procreation and freezing for just that purpose. When it is learned that certain genetic “defects” show up in the offspring of certain blood lines, destroy the semen from those sources, therefore leading to the future perfectibility of the human race.
Yeah, right. I could see exactly that happening, but not in any society I would want to live in.
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