[Zeppo]

I think the primary function of Time, that of keeping everything from happening at once, is in danger of failing.

Very perceptive...

I blame Canada, um, I mean, I blame the Large Hadron Collider having caused a breach in the space-time continuum (or, at least it seems to have poked a good-sized hole into the inner workings of subspace and special relativity)...

How else can you explain a world where there's a dedicated America-hating Marxist in the White House?

There's nothing left to ensure that time flies like an arrow (or whatever)...

[jjotto]

...time flies like an arrow...

Fruit flies like a banana.