[The Comedian]

If I had not been taught as a young man that a gentleman does not strike a lady, I'd beat the snot out of Ms. Graham.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[RipSawyer]

“If I had not been taught as a young man that a gentleman does not strike a lady, I’d beat the snot out of Ms. Graham.”
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That rule does not apply to a “lady” who dresses as a man and pretends to be a man so forget all that. Now that we settled that how soon can you be on this job? Do you need any kind of help with logistics, transportation, etc? That will involve quite a large amount of snot, perhaps I could arrange to have a tanker truck meet you at the site of the beating. No, wait, there is a septic tank company near where I live, the owner probably needs business, they can send one of their honey wagons.