[1rudeboy]

This piece is a hatchet-job, and not a very good one.

[Kenny Bunk]

Calling all cars. Turn up the stuner setting on the Nifong Radar.

Official Police Report: No sexual battery reported, BUT, plied her with alcohol, and turned her loose on the streets of Chicago. No cab fare. Perp's name is "The Prophet." Get out an APB, Set up roadblocks, watch the bus and train stations and all airports. Stop and hold all "Prophets."
Description:
Race: Republican
Sex (i.e. Gender): Male, Republican
Height: Republican
Weight: Republican.
M.O.: May offer female officers alcohol.

All Chicago PD Detectives working on the case to remain anonymous. Repeat: Anonymous. Extend same privilege to the "Prophet."