SIGNS YOUR COMPANY IS PLANNING A LAYOFF
- The CEO is frequently overheard mumbling, “Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe.”
- Dr. Kevorkian hired as “Transition Consultant.”
- Windows shutdown screen reads, “It’s Now Safe to Start Looking for Work.”
- Company softball team down-sized to chess team.
- Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
- Your boss keeps asking you when he can “show your cubicle.”
- Company president now driving a Yugo.
- Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
- Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.
- Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
- Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
- Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
- Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Outlet.
- Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.