Posted on 08/07/2010 11:38:37 AM PDT by Maelstorm
Those stingy Republicans have issued another lame attack on what they call "wasteful spending" in President Barack Obama's $863 billion job stimulus program.
These include vital federal projects, like that $89,298 sidewalk in Boynton, Okla. Sure, it doesn't run past a home or business, and yes, it does end in a ditch. But it's extremely smooth.
And that nearly $800,000 program so a Georgia Tech University assistant music professor can hang out with world-renowned musicians and "jam" with them? Can't you dig it?
"I think all of them are waste," growled the crusty McCain on ABC News. "I think none of them really have any meaningful impact on creating jobs. Of course, some are more egregious than others, but all of them are terrible."
That's what he thinks. Conservative tightwads have been so blinded by the record $13.2 trillion national debt that they fail to see all the happy monkeys.
Take the Coked-Up Monkey Study, for instance. Scientific researchers will offer massive amounts of cocaine to a bunch of monkeys in a cage, under a $144,000 grant to Wake Forest University.
You know exactly what will happen. The scientists will sit in their white lab coats, nodding, smoking their pipes as several beakers of colored fluids simmer on gas burners.
And the monkeys will get high. Perhaps at least one prankster scientist will put on '70s disco music and do the John Travolta.
The monkeys will groove, except for the lone "control" monkey, who didn't get to powder his nose. And that's when the research really begins.
"Egad!" one scientist might say, scribbling notes on a pad. "Did you see what that freakin' monkey just did?"
(Excerpt) Read more at articles.chicagotribune.com ...
""Dat sho iz one lucky monkey!"
I stopped reading there. The adjective might be applicable if you are talking about assets that you own. To conserve assets that are entrusted to you, or are given to you, is to be responsible.
This guy has a child's view of reality. Very scary indeed.
Gee. I suppose you require FReepers to post a big ol’ SARCASM tag. Try reading the second sentence.
I would have thought the title would have tipped you off.
That was satire. You should read the rest of it.
And reading articles like this make me want to start buying rope in 500 foot lengths.
What’s that they’re flinging at us?
Ok: J Edgar has one self-inflected hole in his foot!
Ok: J Edgar has one self-inflected hole in his foot!
Heeheehee
I’ll give you a pass...this time. :)
Now I know what Cavuto was talking about this morning!
“Take the Coked-Up Monkey Study, for instance. Scientific researchers will offer massive amounts of cocaine to a bunch of monkeys in a cage, under a $144,000 grant to Wake Forest University.”
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