Thanks bud, but the only way I'm going to inhabit a political office is as part of some sort of draft, or community service sentence, or hostage situation.
My first and last official act would be to do away with whatever office I was occupying.
And to declare war on everyone who strives for office.
Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.