“That being said, dad needs to have a heart to heart talk with the 21 year old man. Something along the lines of what kind of 21 year old MAN dates a 16 year old GIRL?”
Age of consent is what it is, mostly an artificial construct. When I lived in England years ago you could get married at 16. I was 22 and dating a 16-year-old “girl.”
Well, all laws are an artificial construct. But to have a law someone has to decide on a number for speed limit, age of consent, etc.
Could you please tell me what kind of 22 year old male (who would be 4 years out of high school) would be dating a 16 year old female (who would be in the 10th grade in High School)?
From 22 to 16 is a six year age difference. Now if she was 18 and you were 24, then it would still be a 6 year age difference, but the extra two years for her would put her out of high school and she would (typically) have a lot more emotional maturity by then.
My thinking is that a 22 year old guy can legally go to the bar and drink. A 16 year old girl cannot legally drink. 21 year old girls can legally drink and are also a bit more mature, so why isn't he dating someone who is in his own age range (20-21-22)? What is the advantage in it for him? Hmmm...
My objection to a 22 year old male dating a 16 year old female would be my suspicion that he is using her for sex, and possibly giving her alcohol and/or marijuana - that he is dating her because it is easier to impress a 16 year old female than a say a 22 year old female.
I hope everything went ok in your relationship with the young lady. Perhaps you were a perfect gentleman to her and a knight in shining armor compared to all the other guys.
But I suspect when you get older (old enough to have a teenage daughter of your own) in your mid 30's and beyond - you will see things a bit differently and be more concerned about protecting your child from possible emotional harm or alcohol or drug problems or her getting into a life style where she could possibly ruin her life.
So please understand that in some situations it is better to err on the side of caution at the expense of granting freedom. And that is one of these situations because of the perceived risk to the child. So the bias tends to be on keeping guys in their 20's away from girls in their teens...
Plus, the parents will figure that if they're really in love they can get together in a couple of years - which from an adult perspective goes by pretty quickly - when she turns 18.