In anticipation of the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, in 2007, the Pentagon prepared a list of new or reinterpreted nomenclature and practices familiar to many older veterans. The gay EM who supplied Wikileaks sent us a copy just before his arrest. Some of the more interesting items are below.
All marching commands ending in “March” will now end in either “MINCE” or “SWISH,” at the option of the individual issuing the command;
The command “Right dress right,” will be replaced with “Right strapless evening gown, allrighty;”
Due to the distinct possibility that it may be misinterpreted, the command “To the Rear March” will be replaced with “OK, Fellas, Turn Around;”
Marching cadences employing “Jodie” will now replace that archaic appellation with the more metro-sexually appropriate “Brucie:”
The humorous but now out-dated phrase “Drop your c**ks and grab your socks” is to be replaced with “Drop your c**ks and grab the fella’s over there;”
A “Junk on the bunk” inspection will now allow a soldier’s “junk” to actually be displayed on his bunk;
If it will not interfere with “his” duties, a “Latrine Queen” may wear a pair of high heel pumps if they are OD in color;
The rank of “Private” will be replaced with “Newby.”
For those still smoking, as it could lead to serious unit cohesion break-down, the phrase “Field strip that butt” will no longer be used.
As we did deeper into the documents we were provided, we will add other changes.
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