Police: Security Guard Saved by Bullet-Proof Vest

myfoxphoenix.com ^ | December 25, 2010 | Nicole E. Matthews

[AEMILIUS PAULUS]

The Latu that could not shoot straight!

[Kenny Bunk]

The Norwegian Motorcycle Gangs who are behind most violent crime in the US have been exposed by my diligent work on this site.

I tipped off the cops and concerned citizens nation-wide that these Norvegian Bad Boys were uncanny mimics of African-American and Hispanics, causing the innocent souls of these ethnic backgrounds to be arrerested for crimes committed by these deucedly clever, dastardly, lutefisk-breathed, Viking marauders.

But my ruthless anti-Norwegian campaign of exposure was so darned effective that it has apparently backfired. Rather than pretend to be Hispanics and African-Americans, the Norsemen are now dressing and carrying on as Pacific Islanders!

Yes! Dammit! DNA samples have proven betond the shadow of a doubt that "Latu Tekina" (I am frankly embarrassed that my Norvegian adversaries thought I would fall for such an obviously phony name!) is actually Ragnar Schildenhammer, with a record several miles long, including disruption of St. Olaf's day Celebrations, Dealing in Hot. Lutefisk, and other crimes too horrible to mention.

If "Latu's" clansmen row him out into a lake and cremate him, that will be all the proof I need! There is no room in Valhalla for this kind of Norvegian Viseguy!

[WePledge]

If all of the rounds hit the guard in the vest,it was pretty good shooting. We ere always taught to aim for center of body mass when using a pistol. Thank God the guard had a decent vest.

[SpcRS]

The story is a little misleading. The guard actually fired first. And I am sure the security officer found his gun in his holster.