It’s payback time, Sal. You have been selected as the makeup call for Chuck “Superfly” Turner. The streak ends with you, Mistah Speakah.
No, not the streak of legislative leaders being indicted. That streak will never end. I’m talking about the streak of corrupt white politicians in Boston getting caught committing the most heinous sorts of crimes and then walking away without even spending a day in stir.
It’s the good old boys network. Generations of Hibernian highwaymen, and their faithful Italian companions, have gotten away with everything — and after they plead out, they’re handed fat pensions and their own rotten, no-ratings talk shows.
But the whole racket has gotten a little too obvious. Sal, it’s time to jail a white guy.
Think about this, Sal. Chuck took a grand, and he gets three years. You’re accused of pocketing $57K. If, God forbid, you’re found guilty, and Judge Mark Wolf uses the “Superfly” sentencing guidelines, you are looking at . . . 171 years.
On the bright side, you’ll be eligible for parole in 144 years and 4 months — in the year 2155.
Repeat after me, Sal: “Guilty, your Honor.” The best you can hope for at this point is to keep your bit to a bare minimum. I don’t care what Tom Kiley is telling you as he chauffeurs you down Northern Avenue to the courthouse in that green Jaguar of his.
Of course, the old phenomenon of rewarding crooked pols went far beyond Felon Finneran and Good Time Charlie Flaherty and Mrs. Johnny Pockets.
Remember the late Rep. Kevin Fitzgerald, also known as Money Fitz? Relieved a bag lady of $200,000, which he was ordered to repay . . . to her estate. So his fellow hacks made him the State House sergeant at arms — the guy with the top hat and the stick whose only real task every year is to lead the governor into the House chambers for the State of the State address.
How about the Boston city councilor Brian McLaughlin, better known as Cryin’ Brian after he broke down and began weeping when he explained how terrible it was to have to hide the cash he grabbed from a developer in the bedroom in his parents’ house, where he still lived at the age of 30?
Cryin’ Brian didn’t get life — he got a lifetime sinecure at City Hall. Who says crime doesn’t pay? It damn sure does if you’re a white hack from Boston.
I know Chuck talked his way into Club Fed all by himself. But still, just to prove the system isn’t as corrupt as it so obviously is, the cops are going to have to lock up a white guy.
Paging Sal DiMasi . .
The Colonel is at the following address if anyone is interested in sending cards, etc.
French Hospital Medical Center
1911 Johnson Avenue
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
oops, did I do it again? This comes from times when I either post from my Netbook or don’t check to see how it came out (or “preview” it) or both! Sorry!