[The Sons of Liberty]

There is every reason to suspect that we will endure suicide missions by Islamist sleeper cells

Note to Would Be Jihadists:

If you harm anyone in MY family, I'll be going after YOUR family - ALL of them, so keep that in mind while you wait for your virgens.

[Eastbound]

"Note to Would Be Jihadists:"

. . . and be advised that the Penis Collection Squad will be searching the suicide scene for any remains of your penis which when found, will be dipped in pig shit and burned beyond recovery by even alley oop himself.

Sorry, Charlie. No sex in your heaven.