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What happens when mean girls grow up?
The Washington Post ^ | Laura Sessions Stepp

Posted on 02/18/2011 8:15:42 AM PST by SantaLuz

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To: Erasmus

Phew, yeah, it was starting to smell bad. :-)


41 posted on 02/18/2011 11:07:31 AM PST by wbill
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To: wintertime
Well...You may have known an outlier.

Well, I guess I know a lot of outliers, then.

But of course, you have a bias: The institutionalized child answered my questions with grunts, monosyllables, or merely nods of the head. Then there was the 20 degree off-centered stare. Yes, there were a few exceptions.

Your choice of words is quite telling -- your "institutionalized child" attitude is precisely the attitude I noted among the so-called "outliers." Smug and dismissive of those who do not do as you do.

Perhaps you're an "outlier," too.

42 posted on 02/18/2011 11:18:08 AM PST by r9etb
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To: SantaLuz

The gist of this article seems to be that bullies can, and do, grow up to be nice adults. I’ll agree with can, but it’s certainly not a given that they actually do so. IMO, it’s more likely they grow up to raise the next generation of bullies.


43 posted on 02/18/2011 11:19:39 AM PST by FourPeas
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To: netmilsmom
I have found that Public School children either throw a fit, pout or act out. Homeschooled kids gravitate to the adults or younger children.

Interesting. I have seen homeschooled kids throw fits, pout, and act out .... just like ANY kid will do.

It amuses me, how homeschooling parents continually tout the superiority of their children over those whose parents choose differently. It's like you're defensive, and trying to compensate for something.

Just to throw it back at you .... some of the most neurotic kids I've ever seen, have been home-schooled. Not their faults; rather, their parents were so fearful of the outside world, and passed that fear onto their kids, that the youngsters never had a chance. And the "home-schooling choice" was an important element of that fear.

44 posted on 02/18/2011 11:27:18 AM PST by r9etb
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To: Fletcher J; SantaLuz
The only time my younger daughter was bullied was when she was in 7th grade. She developed a facial melanoma and although she became cancer free, she had (and still has) a significant facial scar.

The kids from school made cards, gave her special "Build-a-Bears", sent emails, called, etc. The girls that bullied her were a group of home-schooled girls at church. Several told her to her face they couldn't be her friend because her cancer was a sign of sin and she needed to repent. At Sunday School, they refused to sit next or across from her. They sent her emails that they were forming prayer pools for her to repent and no longer be such a horrible sinner. 3 of them even put on a mock play where the main character worm a white bandage on her face and engaged in really ugly acts. All this happened on Sundays and during Saturday activities. She didn't want to tell me because she knew how upset I would be. I was.

After speaking to the pastor who spoke to the girls and their parents, two girls refused to apologize and started sending her emails pretty much all the time. Their parents defended their actions and blamed it on my daughter. The excuse? "Our girls are home-schooled and don't have the evil influences of public school. They aren't capable of this." Not until I printed out the emails did they sort of, kind of believe, even then, they were sceptical. The entire incident became known to the church at large and just went from bad to ugly. Three families ended up leaving because of it.

So, yes, home-schooled children, even churched ones, are capable of meanness and cruelty, and publically schooled children are capable of kindness. It all goes back to the parents.

45 posted on 02/18/2011 12:21:53 PM PST by SoftballMominVA
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To: SoftballMominVA
I'm sorry to hear about the experience your daughter had at the expense of un-Christian Sunday School girls. Truely no love of Christ there. I never suggested that there aren't maladjusted home schooled children; or that public schooled children can't be wonderful children and succeed. My main point is from my original post: "Human nature is the same for all girls. The difference is public schools breed bullying and contempt of peers, and the dilution of home values."

My point was that public schools force children into an abnormal enviroment which increases the likelihood of bullying behaviours. Think second-hand smoke... Not all kids who live in smoke filled environments will have breathing problems; but it does increase the likelihood they will.
46 posted on 02/18/2011 1:00:05 PM PST by SantaLuz
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To: r9etb; wintertime

r9etb,

Please don’t break it to wintertime that kids other than homeschoolers can be fine and decent people. She’s a fanatic, and spouting her arrogant and biased generalizations about homeschoolers vs. public schoolers seems to make her happy.

Oh, and she’s been using that “institutionalized child” smear for years on FR, and still thinks it’s clever.


47 posted on 02/18/2011 1:15:05 PM PST by Fletcher J
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To: SoftballMominVA; r9etb; wbill; SantaLuz

SoftballMominVA,

That’s a heartbreaking story; I feel bad for your daughter. Obviously those girls weren’t acting Christ-like at all!

Your story illustrates what most of us can agree on - a child’s behavior is primarily dependent on the kid’s parents & homelife.


48 posted on 02/18/2011 1:35:14 PM PST by Fletcher J
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To: r9etb

>>Just to throw it back at you .... some of the most neurotic kids I’ve ever seen, have been home-schooled<<

Well, I guess that indicates how many Homeschooled kids you know. I work with PS kids. I never said all of them are bad, in fact, I said that there is an exception to every rule. Both ways.

Seems PS parents get really defensive and bring up the ones “they know” to say how “off” homeschooling kids are. That’s really not the homeschooling parent’s problem. Personally, I don’t care at all how well adjusted anyone’s kids are but my own.

Which is why I have taken the freedom to choose the associations my kids have. Some are public school kids, some are homeschooled.


49 posted on 02/18/2011 1:48:43 PM PST by netmilsmom (Happiness is a choice.)
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To: Fletcher J

It was a hard-learned lesson in many ways. Even kids of very good families can get with someone else and as a group, create a very destructive situation. One of the girls deeply, and honestly apologized to my daughter a couple of years ago via email. She said that at the time, she was worried about an aunt who had breast cancer and in retrospect, she was mean to her because she couldn’t be mean to her aunt. It sounds like a pretty twisted logic, but then, we are talking about 12/13 year old girls and in a way, it makes sense.


50 posted on 02/18/2011 3:51:36 PM PST by SoftballMominVA
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To: r9etb
Drive by a typical government school. Does it look like an “institution”?...or?...Perhaps a minimum security prison?

I think the term “institutionalized”child is a bit softer and less harsh than “incarcerated” child. :-)

51 posted on 02/18/2011 4:08:49 PM PST by wintertime
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