Posted on 3/20/2011, 7:25:20 PM by Kaslin
"Our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members." Pearl S. Buck, My Several Worlds.
In an economy that is increasingly calibrated for a two-person income, millions of parents across the country rely on some form of professional child care in order to meet the demands of their busy lives. Choosing the right childcare has become one of the primary challenges new parents face when Mom decides to re-enter the workforce. Parents want the best for their children. They want them to be cared for by high-caliber, qualified individuals that they can trust completely.
As might be expected, then, the childcare industry is heavily-regulated. After all, children need to be protected from those who might exploit or abuse them. While the licensing requirements vary from state-to-state, most include some form of professional training or certification for select employees, and virtually all mandate across-the-board criminal background checks. Few parents would have it any other way! Children are weak, vulnerable, and helpless. Better to eliminate potential problems by denying or restricting those with a criminal history the option of employment in a childcare setting.
Sadly, however, that the same pains are not taken to protect a class of individuals that is just as weak, vulnerable, and helpless as children. According to a recent report issued by the Department of Health and Human Services, more than 90% of nursing homes employ at least one ex-convict. The very same people who go out of their way to ensure that their children are safe and protected while at daycare may have a grandparent in a nursing home who is suffering at the hands of poorly qualified, sometimes criminally-abusive staff members.
Why is this happening? Why would those in the business of caring for America's elderly turn a blind eye to such behavior? As with so many other instances of reprehensible human conduct, the culprit lurking behind the curtain is Greed. Because the largest expense of a nursing home's budget is "labor," corporate executives at these companies have learned that one surefire way to increase the profitability of their homes is to reduce costs by cutting back on staff and hiring individuals who are willing to accept lower wages. The end result? Profits up! Patient welfare down, forgotten, ignored, and suffering.
Undoubtedly, most Americans with family members in nursing homes have no idea that this is happening, and truly believe that their loved ones are being treated well. They have no idea that behind the reassuring advertisements and sophisticated marketing are profit-driven enterprises who often care more about the bottom line than they do about the welfare of seniors. They are unaware that these business often take advantage of programs like the Work Opportunity Tax Credit, which incentivizes the hiring of certain "target groups," including convicted felons. By hiring hard to emply ex-cons, nursing home operators get a "two-fer": tax credits that improve the bottom line, and lower paid employees (which produces the same result).
One possible reason for such widespread ignorance is that, quite simply, there is very little media coverage of elder abuse (the New York Times being a notable exception). Aside from the occasional headline-grabbing report like the one recently issued, the subject is largely ignored. Perhaps that's because much of it goes on behind the closed doors of nursing homes. Perhaps it's because our culture is obsessed with youth and no one wants to contemplate getting old. Or perhaps it's because we simply devalue the elderly?after all, many of them have substantially degraded mental and physical abilities.
It's not difficult to feel concern for the welfare of our children. They represent the next generation, and are full of potential for the future, and we'll stop at nothing to ensure that these children and grandchildren are protected and provided for. Meanwhile, America's Greatest Generation has been largely forgotten, and is often being left unwittingly in the hands of predators who abuse or exploit them.
If compassion for the plight of our elderly loved ones is not enough to spur us to action, then perhaps the thought of our own elder-years might prompt a call for change. It's high time that the American people wake up to the implications of what it means to become a mass geriatric society, which is where what we are rapidly becoming. Individuals need to prepare now for the years when they will live in decline. Families must prepare to assume a greater role in caring for their aging loved ones, and our churches must acknowledge that the elderly are part of the "least among us" and reach out to lend a helping hand. On the legal side of the equation, government needs to begin protecting our elderly citizens by instituting the same safeguards afforded to children and ensuring that predatory nursing homes are not selling out the care of the elderly to the lowest bidder.
We can, and must, do better.
This article misses the obvious.
We warehoused our children so we could get on with our lives thinking that strangers would give the same nurturing care we mothers could give.
While I was in the military, one young mother was literally going door to door looking for someone to care for her newborn.
Those children have learned from our example. They warehouse their elderly parents so they can get on with their lives thinking that strangers can give the elderly the same nurturing care they could receive at home with their adult children.
I know very well, that very often there are overwhelming, serious mental or medical conditions that make home care impossible. I’m just talking about attitude.
My daughter goes to daycare my ex left us when she was 18 months old & I have to work. I have a single-income household. Not all of us “warehouse” our kids so we can get on with our lives. Yes, it bothers me that she spends time with strangers but I give up most of my “free time” when I’m off to spend with her teaching her things, mostly religious. I resent your insinuation that parents who utilize Childress are uncaring & somehow selfish.
I did rotations through several nursing homes while in college and the absolute best homes were privately-owned entities. Overall they were cleaner, better staffed and strictly monitored. The difference I saw was that the private homes were more dedicated to patient care and employee satisfaction. Wages were higher and they put an emphasis on education/training. The boards of directors were actively involved in the homes....instead of some distant, faceless corporate entities.
I resent your insinuation that parents who utilize Childress are uncaring & somehow selfish.
You know very well that it’s become a cultural thing, the norm, and I was not insinuating any against mothers in situations like yours. Neccesity is one thing, convenience another.
YAHO (yet another HO)...
There is no doctor at every bedside in a nursing home; there is just a small nursing staff overseeing the facility. Most of the work done is related to feeding, bathing, cleaning, administering medicines, etc., which most families are quite capable of doing. Some family situations are such that there truly is no family member capable of taking care of the patient. Many, however, are simply symptomatic of a younger generation which does not want to deal with caring for their elderly relative; they are too “busy” with their own lives.
Nursing homes are big bucks, charging the same as a top hotel; some provide a nice living atmosphere, others scrimp on every penny they can. Medicare and Medicaid do pay for nursing home stays, but one can’t have significant assets and get the government to pay for a permanent stay. Staying permanently on the government’s dime requires personal assets to be depleted first; this is why “long-term care insurance” is being pushed so hard - these companies want us to ante up dollars for decades while we’re young, since if we’re old and poor there is no money to be made off of our tired old selves. Even with that stipulation of “losing the house”, the younger generation will often opt to give up their inheritance since the alternative is to care for their elderly parents themselves. The tactic of placing the home in someone else’s name now has to be done 5 years prior to care, I believe.
Troubled family relations difficult attitudes throughout life very often end up in the younger generation not being able to take in their elderly parents.
Once again, even with the most difficult parts of life, the best advice seems to be to cling to the Bible and not the government. We get along with each other better, take care of each other and wind up more prosperous.
I agree with your opinion. I had to work while raising my children and went to night shifts so they wouldn’t have to go to day care. I hated the bite marks, non-stop illness and bad habits picked up at daycare. Even though we didn’t have a “conventional” home....there was a parent available 24/7. I’d feel the same about putting my Mom in a nursing home. Unfortunately.....as you said, the attitude is not universal.
I was fortunate to work at a home that had some "old-timers" that had worked there for years and taught me how to properly take care of the old and infirm. I never saw the horrid skin breakdowns that I encounter now at the hospital of the elderly from the corporate greed machine homes.
Just a few suggestions for those here who may have to place a loved one in a nursing home.
Visit often, at different times of the day and evening. Don't get into a habit of coming to visit one the same day(s) and at the same times.
Learn how to feed your loved one if they can't do it themselves. It will be a good visiting and loving experience for both of you. Nursing assistants usually have a patient load of 13 plus residents and half of them will need to be fed every meal. And while the assistant is trying to get the meal into them, the rest of the patients are ringing to go to the bathroom, the ones with dementia are trying to get out of their wheelchairs and end up falling and hurting themselves.
Don't be squeamish about checking your loved one's skin, especially the back side. Hips and tailbone areas are where most bed sores start and if they are in a home where the staff doesn't give a flying you-know-what about turning the residents every 2 hours, in that quick of time a bed sore can start.
If they are in bed, close the curtains, pull back the linens and turn them side to side and check them. You can also check if they wear diapers/briefs if they are wet; demand a nurse or nursing assistant change them that very minute (but be tactful if the assistant is in the middle of helping another resident - it's one thing if they are sitting around BSing; be patient if you know they work hard). I've seen bed sores so bad you can put your fist in it and it is a sore that is open all the way to bone. Nasty, smelly and I cannot fathom the pain these poor souls have to deal with.
If your loved one has diabetes check their extremities for discoloration. Lazy nursing homes won't pay any attention until the toes literally fall off.
You just can't go in and visit for 10-15 minutes and play it safe and distant and not get dirty anymore. We must be active caretakers of our folks if they are in homes.
Yep, I understand. We lost my father-in-law to Alzheimer's and Parkinson's at the beginning of December 2009. He had lived in a Retirement Community that was a "joint" project with Sear's and a church. Very large expensive complex. My in-laws "owned" (bought but didn't own outright") 1/2 of a 2 bedroom duplex there for about 5 years, they "bought" the unit (~$130,000) and paid about $1,700 per month maintenance fee. I looked after them daily for the time they were there, picked up their meals at noon, cooked dinner for them in the evening and stayed with one of them if one was in the hospital. For the last year they were in their "cottage" they had home health care workers staying part of the day. It was a nice complex and the staff generally was very good.
When my father-in-law's condition was determined to warrant being moved to the Alzheimer's unit, things went downhill very fast. The 2nd day he was in the unit, a new tenant pushed him and he fell and broke his arm. Before that arm healed enough for the cast to be removed he fell and broke the other arm. It went undetected that he was having difficulty swallowing due to the Parkinson's and he started loosing weight. He developed pneumonia and at that point they called told us that he needed to go to the hospital (he used the VA hospital, which in Amarillo is excellent.) The VA hospital put him on IV-antibiotics and cleared up the pneumonia, but there was nothing they could do for the swallowing issue from Parkinson's. He was in Hospice at the VA for about 1-1/2 weeks and was gone.
While in the Alzheimer's unit he had 2 broken arms, lost 26 lbs. of weight (he was always small) and no alarm bells went off until he had obvious pneumonia symptoms. This was in a facility that was touted as the "best of the best". BS
Since his death, we have moved my mother-in-law to live with my wife and I. She will be 90 in May, has had 4 strokes, has congestive heart disease and has not walked in 1-1/2 years. But we still have her. In my humble opinion, none of the "facilities" are good options, and I say that from a full understanding of what caring for family at home entails.
DO you know families that have somebody at home 24/7 to take care of the physical needs of elderly family members? How many family members comprise the average household when a person hits their 80s?
You seem to have all the answers about “selfish “ families which leads me to believe you’ve never stayed home for an elderly family member every day, all week and weekend long who was barely able to take care of even their most basic physical needs.
I’m so sorry to hear about your FIL. It’s heart-breaking. I’ve worked Hospice for the past 4 years and I have to say your story is not uncommon. Facilities just don’t have the eyes/hands to watch everything and everyone all the time.....no matter how good they are. I’m always thankful for folks like you and your wife who go the extra mile to make sure their loved ones have the extra attention and care. God Bless you!
I had to work while raising my children and went to night shifts
Years ago, when I was very young, working in a state hospital at night, several of the mothers I worked with, bedded their kids in their cars, and then parked under the windows so they could look out at them during the night.
Mothers keeping home together on their own are real heroes.
I had to work while raising my children and went to night shifts
Years ago, when I was very young, working in a state hospital at night, several of the mothers I worked with, bedded their kids in their cars, and then parked under the windows so they could look out at them during the night.
Mothers keeping home together on their own are real heroes.
Do you have a relative in long term care? And, I do sympathize with you. My husband has Alzheimer’s/Parkinson’s disease, and taking care of him is the most difficult thing I have ever done. And, you are right, it’s 24/7 work. I am up several times a night, because he doesn’t know day from night, and sometimes I have to change his clothing 1/2 dozen times a day, along with the bedding. I find ice cream bars, melting all over the house, and food hidden under pillows. He cannot shower, shave, or even brush his teeth. He is not only dependent on me for his care, he follows me constantly, keeping me from doing ordinary housework. I could go on and on, but you get my drift.
I do have a caregiver to come in so that I can shop or do incidental things that need to be done outside the home. Most around here charge $25 per hour. My niece does it for $15 per hour. When I had surgery last month, I put him in a nursing home for three days. It cost $200 per day, but was worth it. I cannot afford it permanently, but it’s a bargain, because it would cost twice that going through a home health care company in your home. I don’t want strangers in my home.
I am committed to his care, but will utilize nursing homes for short stays. There are some days, I am at my wits’ end caring for him, and feel like a prisoner being trapped in my home. Sometimes, I just take him for drives or out for ice cream. His family visits every once in a while, but that does nothing for me, because I then have to stop what I’m doing. It would be nice if they would take him for drives, or whatever for a few hours.
I don’t know if I will ever give him up permanently to a nursing home. I had several doctors tell me that caregivers go before the patients because they get worn out, and that has been eating at me. This is not a whine, because I will get more help. It’s a plea to understand what caregivers are going through, and the pain of putting them in long term care facilities. Yes, there are old folks who should still be at home, but the overwhelming number of residents are better taken care of by professionals.
I am a new Hospice nurse (in-home) after 5 years on a medsurg hospital floor.
I echo your remarks 100%.
I know exactly what you are going through and you are doing a saint’s work.
Right now my mother in law is in assisted living but it’s a beautiful facility . Like a hotel. Currently she has a nurses aide during the day because she recently had a pelvic fracture. My dad was also in the same type of facility until he had collapsed one day and never recovered.
I was fortunate enough to have a young man help take care of my father in the last year of his life when he lost his ability to speak, walk without help and feed himself. Never mind taking care of his own hygiene. Between him and his friend who took over on weekends we were paying $1200 a week. As far as I’m concerned we were getting off easy. And this lovely young man would be the first to tell you that it’s soul numbing to take care of someone 24/7 no matter the salary. When my Dad passed I gave him a bonus that made him weep, but it still wasn’t big enough to express my gratitude to him. We still keep in touch.
The biggest “heroes” on this board haven’t had to take care of anyone 24/7. And you can tell because they haven’t been humbled yet.
You sure couldn't do that nowadays, eh? I remember having to wait for my Mom in the car while she went grocery shopping. I was about 6 or 7yrs old....and passed the time by rolling down the windows and chatting with all the other kids left in their cars. Too funny.
With that said....I was happy to be in a profession with alot of choices.
Thank you.
We have 1 full time and 1 part time (3 days a week) lady that help us care for her. The full time is a God send. (part time is good too) She worked in nursing homes for 29 years before we hired her. She is like part of the family. Even with that help it is difficult. I also have a son who is not well.
And my mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma cancer and went through chemo a year ago (she has come back from the edge, got down to 76 lbs., is now back up to 103 and recovering). And about 2 weeks ago my father had a heart attack. He is scheduled to have the procedure done to evaluate the arteries in about 1-1/2 weeks.
About 2 years ago my wife had a hip replacement. That took her 1 year to fully recover.
I have learned to hate Hospitals and Dr.’s Offices.
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