AP, REUTERS, CNN, MSNBC __ A world wide consensus among experts and solar flare scientists have concluded that the solar flare crisis is directly caused by an over abundance of heterosexual marriages, bitter clinging to private gun ownership and Bibles, as well as out-dated ideas such as so-called "free enterprise". Calls have been made for an the empowering of an international body of enlightened elites to enact common sense regulations to prevent or delay this looming disaster.
While there is no actual dispute concerning the root causes of the solar flare epidemic, a small fringe of conservative fanatics oppose the establishment of such a body, preferring instead to give tax breaks to billionaires and trillioniares and to end Medicare as we know it.