Sex, Lies and Twitter

What is makes us all think we can get away with it? And by all, I mean men. It seems that across the board, and irrespective of political affiliation, men have failed at exhibiting the better part of valor when it comes to sex. The recent and devastating implosions of once powerful men, whether Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressman Anthony Weiner or Senator John Edwards suggest a powerful connection between sex, power and the public eye.

Let’s face it, married men cheat all the time. The alarming rate of divorce and out of wedlock births alone is proof enough of this. So it should come of no surprise that men who reach the pinnacles of power succumb to some of the same problems that mere mortals struggle with every day. Or should it? After all, people in power should know that fame can be a double edged sword. It amplifies successes and failures alike. You would think that sexual discretion would be chapter one of the public figure’s handbook. And yet, time and again, the sexual indiscretions of powerful men spill out of the bedroom and onto the front page.

Congressman Anthony Weiner’s recent scandal offers an interesting case for study. Here’s a guy who even by his own admission, grew up with a funny name. He had to be aware from the time he was old enough to go to school that people would harp upon the subtle implications that such a name affords. And yet he literally exposed himself on twitter and sent the pictures out to women he barely even knew. This seems especially risky behavior for the recently married Congresswoman, who many believed was in line to become the next Mayor of New York.

To actually go to the lengths of exposing oneself might speak to what many scientific studies have described as the highly visual nature of male sexuality. If men are highly visual and instantly aroused, it might explain their impulsive behavior when it comes to sex. There seems to be something of an existential question at work here too. In this society, the woman’s body is everywhere for men to ogle. It’s on the bus stop, at the grocery store, and all over the air waves. The male form is not so widely worshipped. Perhaps there is a longing among some men to be seen in a sexual way by the objects of their affection. It’s almost as if they don’t believe they exist unless someone is around to admire them.

Although the sexual habits of those in power tend to reflect the broader population, they are amplified to some extent. In order to understand it, one has to consider that many men seek power, wealth and social status in order to ultimately win the affection of women. Men know that women desire a mate who’s well suited to fathering and protecting a family. Some of that obviously comes down to genes. Men with certain physical characteristics are obviously highly desirable. But in modern society, wealth and status also come into play. Men who can afford to send their kids to the most exclusive schools and have the social connections to give their children better opportunities are also highly valued by the opposite gender. It is perhaps the very drive for successful procreation that drives men to achieve greatness, which also accounts for the seemingly illogical and risky behavior they display while in power. The thrill of the chase doesn’t always wear off once a man has gotten married and settled.

But this brings up a real question about leadership. Some would question whether a man who has cheated on his spouse and lied about it to the public the way Congressman Weiner did is really fit for leadership. My question is, given what we know now about men in power, are they any less qualified once their indiscretions have surfaced than they were before? The answer is tricky: yes and no.

On the one hand men with strong desire for leadership are generally someone you want in a position of power. They will usually display surprising level of loyalty, they are highly concerned about how the public views them, and they are generally willing to withstand the usual slings and arrows that lesser men may tend to avoid. On the other hand, when their private lives become such a distraction that it makes them susceptible to their political enemies, they become a liability to those who depend on them – constituents, employees and their political colleagues. Those upon whom they rely for support and other members of their coalitions of power do not want to be painted with the broad scarlet brush. At that point they can no longer lead effectively.

One last thing needs to be said about Twitter though. It has become the pool upon which so many young narcissists now reflect themselves. But there has not yet developed a meaningful social etiquette for using it. Twitter, like most social networking tools, was designed by some of the least socially adept people in the society. Think of a college age Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs hanging in a corner at a frat party twittering instead of talking to any of the real girls in front of them. Social networking, in this sense, tends to mask rather than erase a sense of social distance that many people feel. It was supposed to be the nerd getting one over on the frat boy. But in the end leadership and popularity still comes down to developing social graces and acting in a certain acceptable way….no matter how many Facebook stock options you might hold.

And Maria knew that Arnold was a pig.

In a scandal that was dubbed “Gropegate”, Mr Schwarzenegger was accused five days before the election in 2003 of sexually harassing several women over a 25-year period, six of whom eventually came forward with their personal stories.

In a series of reports in the Los Angeles Times, three of the women claimed that Mr Schwarzenegger had groped their breasts and a fourth said he had placed his hand on her bottom underneath her skirt. A fifth alleged Mr Schwarzenegger had tried to take off her swimming costume in a hotel elevator while the last said he had pulled her to sit on his lap.

Four of the women remained anonymous, but the other two were Elaine Stockton, the wife of Robby Robinson, a bodybuilder and Anna Richardson, a British television presenter.

Ms Richardson went on to sue Mr Schwarzenegger and his aides for libel when he claimed she had encouraged his behaviour. In 2006, she settled out of court.

Mr Schwarzenegger eventually apologised, admitting that he had “behaved badly sometimes” but also stated that “a lot of what you see in the stories is not true”. The apology came after an interview from 1977 in Oui, an adult magazine, surfaced, in which Mr Schwarzenegger said he had attended orgies and smoked marijuana.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/8504550/Arnold-Schwarzneggers-chequered-history-with-women.html

On the other hand, when their private lives become such a distraction that it makes them susceptible to their political enemies, they become a liability to those who depend on them – constituents, employees and their political colleagues.

I would add one thing to this. If a person so lacks self-control that he cannot resist sending pictures of himself to women he barely knows (or can't resist sleeping with any woman who makes herself available), then that individual is not someone I would want in a position of power.

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