I think you are confused as you continue to present a false dichotomy that you call the 'conservative' position e.g. marriage is defined by either the state or by the fed and you seem to miss the true conservative position which is premised upon the unalienable and self evident truths with the added caveat that all powers not given to the fed AND the states is reserved by the people.
The obvious question to ask yourself is WHEN did society decide the state or for that matter ANY government can define marriage?
Marriage, the institution, has been around a long time before this government. It has been valued and given privilege by society because it promotes the common good of society; namely posterity and citizenship.
Homosexual sex promotes disease, death, and self destruction. To suggest it okay and conservative for a government at the state level but not at the federal level to promote and grant privilege to those actions that comprise the destruction of the common good is absurd. Toleration of insanity and stupidity in a free society is one thing; however, institutionalizing and promoting it is quite another.
Exactly.
So let me guess now, I’m going to be called a gay lover and supporter of the gay agenda because of what I’ve said on here.