“Next thing we will hear is that their new aircraft carrier was sunk by dolphins.”
Navy porpoise attack story. I know a guy who claims he was with a Navy unit that trained porpoises to kill human swimmers and divers. They were used in Gulf War 1. The porpoises were all male and wore a harness and carried a bang stick. They’d ram the swimmer with the bang stick. Every time the Navy used them, the porpoise found and eliminated the target. Then, he’d jet off to find a pod of female porpoises and have sex. There was no getting the porpoises back until they were darned good and satisfied. (It’s probably the uniform harness. No species can resist a Navy guy in uniform.)
Kill an enemy and then go have lots of sex. Hey, it's a guy thing.
“They’d ram the swimmer with the bang stick” - In San Francisco Bay?
The only thing left out of the porpoise's misson profile is heavy drinking, foul language, a busted bar stool, and Shore Patrol dragging him back to the ship.