Skip to comments.Abortion never had a chance with us: our experience having a disabled child
Posted on 08/17/2011 4:30:10 PM PDT by wagglebee
Our daughter Laci Faith Lowell
August 17, 2011 (HLIAmerica.org)- Let me just start off saying that abortion never had a chance with us.
We found out in November 2005 that we were going to have a baby. I had just gotten out of the Army, and we had settled in Cibolo, Texas - right near San Antonio. When we first started trying to have a baby, we were surprised at how long it took. I have always joked about my little swimmers, and how they were probably swimming in circles. So we prayed, and we told Jesus that if he blessed us with a baby, we would educate our child about Jesus and raise him/her Catholic. Shortly after, we learned that Becky was pregnant.
Becky was the office manager for an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor and she continued to work. She had always eaten well, and maintained a very active lifestyle of running, walking, biking, and working out; so we felt very good about everything. Around March 2006, however, we went in for a sonogram and our entire happy existence came crashing down around us.
Beckys doctor said that it was hard to tell, but she thought that she saw a cleft lip and palate. But just to be sure, she was going to send us to a specialist, who told us that not only did our baby girl have a cleft lip and palate, but she also had no stomach, and problems with her heart. He needed us to come back in a week to try another test.
After a very difficult week of waiting, the doctor reaffirmed his earlier suspicions ended the visit telling us we had options. We asked, What do you mean, options? And then it clicked. He was referring to abortion.
We asked the specialist if we would lose our baby prematurely due to the seriousness of the problems. He said that that would more than likely happen, to which we replied that if this baby wasnt going to make it, it would be Gods decision to terminate, not ours. We had, after all, made a promise to Jesus.
I think we went back for one more visit, where the specialist saw the stomach. He had to wait for Laci to open her mouth and swallow some of the amniotic fluid, and he saw it. So now all our little girl had was a common facial birth defect. Why would a doctor suggest abortion on such a preliminary diagnosis?
But soon after, in July, Becky developed preeclampsia and was put on bed rest on a Wednesday with a stress test set up for that Sunday. During the appointment, the doctor said that Laci was in distress, and he needed to pray about what to do. So he left the room for about 20 minutes, came back and said we were going into surgery. About half an hour later, Laci Faith Lowell was born. She was about one month early, and weighed 3lbs. 15oz, and she had the most beautiful bilateral cleft lip - it was perfectly symmetrical. About an hour later she had problems breathing and was on a MEDEVAC to Christus Santa Rosa, where she would stay for two months.
Once at Santa Rosa we started to learn of some other health problems Laci had going on. In addition to the cleft lip and palate, she was deaf, possibly blind, and had heart problems (ASD, VSD, PDA, pulmonary stenosis). We were very concerned with her brain function, and a CT scan proved all the parts to be there for which we were very grateful.
When we first learned about all of her problems, I was very angry. Not with Becky, or with Laci, but with God. And I said it out loud. We even went to our church to chat with our priest. I pretty much demanded answers from him. I now realize that I wasnt really rational at that point.
We visited Laci every single day she was in the NICU, and we stayed as long as they would let us. I slept on her little table with her, Becky held her kangaroo style (skin to skin), we talked to her and kissed her, and held her. As time progressed, we realized that this was a little human, despite all the issues, and she needed us to hold and love her, to be her everything.
We left the NICU in September with the order to get our baby up to 10 lbs, so she could have heart surgery. We did, and her surgery was a success; however, she was left with a leaky pulmonary valve, which will have to be replaced periodically throughout her life.
We enrolled Laci in a place called Sunshine Cottage, a school for the deaf in San Antonio, TX, where we learned that Laci was in fact deaf in her left ear, but that she did have some hearing in her right. Basically, she could hear anything louder than a jet engine from her right ear. Furthermore, we learned that Laci did have some sight out of her right eye. There was no telling how much, but she was recognizing our faces and reaching for toys. Laci was fitted with hearing aids while we waited for her to get old enough for a Cochlear Implant.
At this point Becky and Laci were heavily involved with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention- a Texas based program). We had a couple surgeries to fix her cleft lip and palate, and then we got a Cochlear Implant! What a change that made! She started crawling soon after and became very interested in communicating with us. That little brain was working. She started Preschool at Sunshine Cottage, and has just graduated Pre-K, getting ready for Kindergarten next year. She is doing well, keeping up with her classmates both orally and visually. In some cases, being the youngest in her class, she is doing more than expected of her!
So here we are today with our beautiful Laci Faith Lowell. We are thankful that God never took her from us. We are thankful that she is doing so well. We are amazed by Laci every day. Laci says and does things that other kids dont do. She just turned 5, and she commonly uses the following words correctly: great, fabulous, delicious, amazing, thanks, no thanks, and many, many, more. Her favorite color is any shade of green, and she loves TinkerBell and princesses. Laci is learning to fish with me, and has no fear of the bait, or the fish itself - although we are working on patience. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. The way we look at it, God gave us Jesus to be closer to Him, and Jesus gave us Laci so we could be closer to Jesus.
Abortion never had a chance.
Reprinted with permission from HLI America
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What a great story.
Computer screen is foggy. Probably should clean it.
AW!! What a sweet, sweet story. Very heart touching & it made me cry.
Must be catching, so is mine.
My wife and I are 4.5 months along this week. Due to our ages we were told that genetic testing for Downs was advised. We took the test and wound up having a high chance of downs’ syndrome.
We got a second opinion from a Catholic hospital in Tacoma Wa, and there is no sign of Downs in the more in depth ultrasound.
At no time was abortion ever an option or even hinted at.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Very beautiful love story.
Here is the atheists version of a beautiful story. After post #7, it starts to get really interesting. For those who have the time and the desire, I highly recommend reading through the entire thread.
My screen is all blurry. Laci and her parents are blessed to have each other.
That is a terribly depressing thread.
Beautiful story; the Lord has placed his hand over your family. Grace and love be upon your family.
Acquitances of mine decided to have an abortion because testing showed the baby would be severely handicapped. They already had two children and were a happy family. The wife was devastated afterwards and has never been the same. When momma ain’t happy, no one is happy and the family split apart. Damn shame.
God has truly blessed the Lowells for their faith in Him. Laci will grow into a beautiful person and woman.
Amen, God sent Lacy to the right parents.
To the parents- they are saints in the making! The human spirit of love at its highest.
Two of our three children are special needs although we didn’t know it until they were teens. I feel very blessed by the growth I’ve had to deal with and the joy of healing after we learned to accept our lives.
What a really beautifully written piece. I literally have tears of joy running down my face as I write this. Short, sweet, to the point and from the heart and truly moving. This is the best thing I’ve read in a long while, and I pretty much do nothing but read.
Now, my daughter and hubby say I politicize everything, and I don’t want to do that with this beautiful story, but I did notice this: Early Childhood Intervention- a Texas based program.
And I thought those Texans were all heartless cheapskates, sure glad to find out that’s not true.
Well thanks for posting that link. Pace Mitch Daniels, the culture wars are not going away, not while so many innocent lives are being lost to them.
These people really scare me, the ones that KNOW they are killing their children and they just do it anyway.
Why? Because they don’t have enough money?
And I feel very bad for the guy who posted the story and his wife. He’s very down to earth, he’s a medic, she wouldn’t look at the required ultra-sound.
I venture they’re likely to be tormented by this “choice”.
He thinks because he’s an atheist he’s off the hook.
Well, wishing doesn’t make it so.
God bless you both!
I started reading at the link you posted and got through about half of it. I just feel so dirty reading what those people posted. They mock and dishonor the Father and Jesus, and in the midst of it celebrate the choice (difficult as it seems) they made. I gotta go pray.
Grunthor: I will be praying for you, your wife, and the little one. Remember the 3 Hail Marys at the beginning of the Rosary for “More faith, more hope and more love.”
“Remember the 3 Hail Marys at the beginning of the Rosary for More faith, more hope and more love.
Oh we’re not Catholic but I thank you for the prayer.
Sorry, I couldn’t get very far. Too depressing. Such scornful, mocking people, without tenderness, without respect.p>
This situation is not a test of whether the developing child is truly human. It’s a test of whether we are.