“Alright, we’ve got six hours left. Six hours to save the crusade that has given me such great personal wealth. I’d hate to have to sell one of my shorefront mansions to keep my houseboat afloat.
You got a timpany!!? An update on the latest dollar amount in my bank account!? Do it! Do it! There it is! $120 million, 365 thousand dollars!! Awesome!!
Keep sending that money in, fellow earth citizens. Don’t forget! Tipper got half, so we got a long way to go to meet our new number… One more big number dollar figure like that last one and I’m going to release my second chakra right here on the stage!!
Keep those phones ringing folks! Our volunteers are working the phones and I'm not paying them a thing. Now, let's welcome to the stage singer Alannis Morrisette... that oughta slow down my chakra release at least... Just kidding! Listen to me! I’m sounding like Biden tonight, I’m so tired! Bring me more fried chicken while we let this Canadian broad warble!”