Posted on 09/14/2011 2:28:11 PM PDT by GOP_Party_Animal
LOS ANGELES – Carol Willison has made lots of financial sacrifices for her two children over the years, including paying most of her older daughter’s medical school tuition. But Willison’s generosity has reached its limits.
Not only doesn’t the 60-year-old Seattle woman plan to leave her daughters an inheritance when she dies, she’s trying to spend every last dime on herself before she goes.
“My goal is when they carry me away in that box that my bank account is going to say zero,” Willison said. “I’m going to spoil myself now.”
Upending the conventional notion of parents carefully tending their financial estates to be passed down at the reading of their wills, many baby boomers say they instead plan to spend the money on themselves while they’re alive.
In a survey of millionaire boomers by investment firm U.S. Trust, only 49 percent said it was important to leave money to their children when they die. The low rate was a big surprise for a company that for decades has advised wealthy people how to leave money to their heirs.
“We were like, ‘Wow,’ ” said Keith Banks, U.S. Trust’s president.
Whether to leave an inheritance is a decision increasingly faced by many of the nation’s
77 million baby boomers, and it’s becoming all the more complicated by the troubled economy.
Boomers are caught between the desire to enjoy their long-awaited golden years and the pressure of various financial concerns, such as fear of outliving their savings and the need to help parents, children or siblings who have their own money struggles.
Many boomers, who range in age from roughly 47 to 65, simply believe that after years of hard work they can spend their money as they choose, experts say.
They spent their lives building businesses and careers, often at the expense of their health or personal relationships. And after years of footing the bill for their kids’ pricey educations, they see no reason to curb their spending impulses in their later years.
Besides, they figure, their kids will get something since nobody can synchronize their demise precisely to the emptying of their bank accounts.
“I do not see my baby boomer clients giving up a vacation or wine or dinners out so that they can leave more money to their children, because they feel like they’ve already done it for their kids,” said Susan Colpitts, executive vice president of a wealth management firm in Norfolk, Va.
“They say, ‘If there’s something at the end, I’d love (the kids) to have it, but what’s important for me now is to get what I’ve earned, which is to travel and have a nice bottle of wine,’ ” Colpitts said.
Many boomers already are giving the equivalent of an inheritance, except they’re doling out the cash while they’re still alive, said Ken Dychtwald, chief executive of research firm Age Wave.
They’re supporting elderly parents, adult children or other family members who are suffering professional or financial woes.
“How can you say no when a child asks for a down payment for a house or money to remodel their house to have a bedroom for a second child?” Dychtwald said. “A lot of boomers are finding that family members are taking cash advances on those inheritances right now.”
Wealthy boomers are holding back on inheritances for other reasons.
Some worry that their kids will squander inheritance money or develop a sense of entitlement.
One-quarter of boomers worry that their children will become lazy and 1 in 5 fear that the kids will squander the money, according to the U.S. Trust survey. More than half the respondents haven’t told their children how much they’re worth.
Psst...Kids...make sure you check under the mattress.
Yes, very similar to my situation except I am the only one caring for my mother. She’s not a very happy person and likes to zing me while I do her errands.
Hang in there!
If my husband and I have excess in old age (as my parents do, thanks to good fortune and good management) then I’m sure we’ll be generous with our children and grandchildren as well as charity, but it’s not it’s not an obligation the way feeding and educating your minor children is.
Well stated and I agree with all of it. My wife and I have had two of our g/children with us for three years and we are adopting them, as a result we are rethinking how our estate will be distributed. Our g/daughter, who lives with us may have a difficult time ever being self supporting and we are thinking more about her care and well being when we are gone.
She will be provided for, more so than our adult children or other and more able grand children. We have 4 adult children, 14 grand children and 4 great grand children and the one I'm referring to is going to need more assistance than any of the others.
By the way, she is not our biological g/child but the half sister of the other grand child we have with us. We already have a court ruling that a grand child/grand parent relationship exists between us (not that we needed it but it did establish it for legal reasons concerning the adoption). We have been grandma and grampa to her since the day she was born, she is now 12 years old
We have our first of three scheduled adoption hearings coming up Friday, my drug addicted, ex d-i-l is contesting, pray for us if you will.
On a general note, I'm damned sick of people ignorantly attacking baby boomers. Most of us have been working from the early 1970s and will be working until we are 70-75. We have been funding social security for decades. Yet over and over again someone like Bill Ayres is seen as the archetypal baby boomer. It's dumb and I'm sick of it.
Exactly!
The parent who loves their child would offer sound advise on how to live within their budget.
An inheritance, well, that is just frosting on a cake that should already have been made!
No cake - no need for frosting. And if there is cake, it is still good without frosting.
Exactly. My brother and I (with our spouses) are both self-sufficient. It happens that our parents have enough estate that Mom is concerned about the government's getting it when she dies, and so she's giving us some money and funding college investments for my children. However, we would get along without that, and still love our parents.
I always tell her that, much as I appreciate a substantial birthday and Christmas gift, it's much more important that she and Dad have all they need as long as they live.
And you maintain your Shavian wit. I’m impressed! My mother went through years of caring for HER mother, with nothing but hassle in return. You do just have to say, “because it’s what God wants me to do.”
“You do just have to say, ‘because it’s what God wants me to do.’”
You have no idea how many times my husband and I say that regarding his mother! She’s a demaning princess, voted for Obama (and continually tells us how wonderful he is), and a major whiner. When we get to the end of our rope doing right by her, we say, “It’s what Christians do”.
One thing I’ve learned in this elder care business: you must make time for yourself. Otherwise you will burn out. My mother is finally considering hiring a group called Visiting Angels to help out once in a while. She can well afford it.
I understand perfectly this fear of the government getting all your parents’ money. It’s the government that’s the real vultures and brats in this game. When I think of how hard my father worked and scrimped and saved...and then the estate taxes kicked in...
I will certainly pray for a successful resolution to your adoption situation! One of our NC FReepers recently was granted full custody of a teenaged great-niece whose mother and grandmother were opposing him, even though the mother’s sex-partner had molested the girl. Sometimes the legal system does the right thing.
My father’s family included a couple of flaked-out misers who ended up leaving him their estates, after my brother and I were grown and Mom and Dad already comfortably well off. Fortunately, she’s the OldTax-lady and can handle it, but it’s a constant nuisance dealing with the tax, pension, and insurance consequences of everything. Dad also owned a large farm that was sold when his Alzheimer’s reached the point that he couldn’t manage it ... more cash to assimilate.
I’m sure many elderly wish they had those “problems,” but having money doesn’t prevent aging and illness and death. Mom has recently begun using an “Elders For Elders” care assistant when she needs to get away. (Dad doesn’t need nursing, just a minder.) I hope she’ll get in some real travel in the next few years, while she’s still well enough; it’s getting to the point that Dad doesn’t know her from others, and just needs to be in their apartment with *someone* to be comfortable.
Oh, poor MayflowerMadam! I feel for you - truly. Make sure you take plenty of time to recoup and get over your frustration and annoyance. I’m doing the rounds with my mother tomorrow. She’s a terrible backseat driver and has often caused me to have near accidents. I almost panic before I have to visit her. And like most of these women, everyone thinks she’s just a wonderful old darling while glaring at me, lol!
Sometimes you just gotta laugh.
My family went Republican three generations ago, fortunately. A grouchy oldster who’s also a Democrat might be too much!
God bless you and your husband for doing what’s right!
Sorry about your dad - luckily neither of my parents seem to have senility. Yeah, the handling of these estates is miserable. My mother is stuck with it and it worries her endlessly. You just want to stash it all in the bank the way we did it in the old days but that’s not feasible. Nothing is simple or easy anymore.
Thank you. My father has, at least, a peaceful existence with his cat, some tv sports, and a few outings. He doesn’t have violent dementia or episodes of hostility. It could be much worse than it is.
Eliminating the gift-and-estate tax would put thousands upon thousands of bankers, attorneys, and accountants out of business ... and they all vote and make campaign contributions, so I don’t think it will ever happen.
Ayers isn't a boomer. Nor Fonda, Hayden, any of the Yippies...
You’re right. He was born in 1944. I know Fonda was not a baby boomer. I’ll have to find someone else who fits the model. One of the reasons I think I made this mistake is that Ayres - like many pyschopaths - does not age. Yeah, a little wrinkle, a little balding, but essentially, the same face he had as a snarky, creepy youth. He disgusts me!
I understand.
Something that's a bit of a bug of mine is that virtually no one associated with the sixties was of the sixties. They were older than the kids they influenced. The political activists and rock stars...the people who made the sixties...all came of age in a prior era.
The actual Boomers? Well, it's hard to say what they should be associated with, if anything.
Exactly. After our estate trust lawyer informed us that the estate tax would be at least 55 percent, we decided to channel as much as we can to our children while we're alive. Why should we die and leave over half our money to the wasteful government?
So we give the maximum amount allowable by a married couple to each of our adult children, each year. We also spend our money on things they use, which allows them to preserve their own savings. All this is legal. If we die without a penny, we will die knowing our children got the benefit of our money and not some greedy souls in government.
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