How my shirt flummoxed the TSA

The Washington Post ^

[matt04]

On the same July day that Donald Rumsfeld was patted down by airport security at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, I underwent an upper-body pat-down at Reagan National.

I was posing spread-eagle in the full body scanner, in compliance with various mandates of the federal Transportation Security Administration, when something set off a female TSA agent, who began mumbling anxiously into her walkie-talkie.

I leaned forward, trying to hear her description of my offense. I was wearing no shoes and no heavy jewelry, and I’d thrown my belt into a bin along with my BlackBerry, my bulging key ring and an Amazon Kindle.

But something was clearly wrong. Finally, I heard her whisper, “Shiny shirt! Shiny shirt!”

I was, indeed, wearing a very shiny shirt. It was a silver Banana Republic sweater accented with shiny speckles. The agent signaled for me to exit the scanner and pulled me over for further inspection.

The high-tech scanner, bought by TSA at a cost of roughly $150,000, can detect hidden explosives, guns or knives tucked into underwear or ammunition packed into body orifices.

But it cannot, the agent told me, see clearly through a shiny shirt.

[matt04]

Money well spent an a machine that can't see thru clothing that is shiny or has a crease in it.

[umgud]

[matt04]

The high-tech scanner, bought by TSA at a cost of roughly $150,000, can detect hidden explosives, guns or knives tucked into underwear or ammunition packed into body orifices.

I know what else can detect guns, knives, ammmo and other metal objects on a person. A metal detector, without any extra doses or radiation.

[NativeNewYorker]

I’ve had my socks removed and hand-wanded by one of these goons. I literally had no idea someone could be so stupid.

[Jack Hydrazine]

Just think of what they’d do if you wore an AFDB!

[Fightin Whitey]

That is um..um..um..VERY gud indeed.

[JimSEA]

The lower half seems TSA compliant at least. Top isn’t so good. Returning to USA this month on Delta, my wife and I got the whole nine yards both in Thailand and at the transfer scan in Japan. They felt us up real good plus having us totally unload our carry ons. They opened our pill bottles and turned on our point and shoot cameras as well as our iPad. Maybe a third of the USA bound passengers got similar treatment. They seem to choose folks they believe will be compliant and “easy”.

[USNBandit]

I knew it! ABBA must by Swedish for Jihad!

[mirkwood]

Guess who is supplying these wonderful scanners-Michael Chertoff.

[meatloaf]

Someone needs to make up some custom sweaters with embedded lettering. Use your imagination. Obviously something you can see with one of the scanners. Distribute widely and freely.

If I ever win the lottery ...

[Lmo56]

"I'm REALLY gonna mess up the TSA with my Puffy Shirt ..."

[july4thfreedomfoundation]

“...can detect ammunition....packed into body orifices....”

No, it can’t.

[MHGinTN]

And whatever you wear to the airport, never wear something with lead paint in the pigments which are used to transfer an image to a T-shirt.

[Sarajevo]

They seem to choose folks they believe will be compliant and “easy”.

Like predators, the mongrels at TSA go for those whom they view as easy prey (very young, old, infirm, those with children).

[PowderMonkey]

"But it cannot, the agent told me, see clearly through a shiny shirt."

It cannot handle gum wrappers either. I recently went through the full treatment on a domestic flight because I had left a 1/4" gum wrapper in my front pocket. The scanner revealed it. The TSA mouth breather came to me and says, "There's a gum wrapper in your pocket. You'll have to remove it. I'll have to pat you down." So he proceeds with the full routine. Butt squeeze, crotch dive and thigh rub. The whole time I'm thinking, "It's a freakin' gum wrapper! You knew it when it showed up on scanner! Been through the metal detector, hand held wand, and scanner... You guys even know my religion now, but you've still got to feel me up?"

[algernonpj]

Guess who is supplying these wonderful scanners-Michael Chertoff.

Good ole bi-partisan crony capitalism!

[GeronL]

I hear they tone down the scanners in other countries not to offend the muzzies with nude people.

These porn scanners are the dumbest things ever.

[SunTzuWu]

Check out this site.
http://cargocollective.com/4thamendment#799609/Home

I think this is what you're looking for...

[smokingfrog]

Is that one of those X-Ray camera lenses?

[Don Corleone]

Can anyone post the WalMartian pics now going around? They would really turn on the TSA goons.