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The Case of Minor Rabbit Versus Happersett (1875)

At common-law, with the nomenclature of which the framers of the Constitution were familiar, it was never doubted that all rabbits were mammals, and their children were mammals, too. These were mammals, or common sense mammals, as distinguished from critters like platypuses or weird animals. Some authorities go further and include as mammals, platypuses. As to this class there have been doubts, but never as to the first. For the purposes of this case it is not necessary to solve these doubts.

Vattle Birthers: See!!! This PROVES platypuses are NOT mammals!!!

Wong Kim Platypus versus U.S.(1898)

History says if it has hair, and is warm-blooded, then its a common sense mammal. The U.S Constitution says there are only two kinds of critters—mammals and icky fishy/reptile/buggy/birdy ones. Therefore, Wong Kim Platypus has hair and is warm-blooded, and is a mammal.

Vattle Birthers: But the court didn’t say Wong Kim Platypus was a common sense mammal!!! There is a difference between common-sense mammals and mammals!! The 1875 case says only rabbits are common sense mammals, not platypuses!!! And what about Emerich de Vattel??? He says that in FRANCE, platypuses are not common sense mammals!!!

Vattle Birthers versus Indiana 2009

The Vattel Birthers said there is a difference between mammals and common sense mammals. We do not agree. There are only two kinds of critters—mammals and icky fishy/reptile/buggy/birdy ones. Based on Wong Kim Platypus, we rule that Barack Platypus is a common sense mammal. Plus, who cares what Frances says.

The Vattle Birthers: But that 1875 case is PRECEDENT that ONLY rabbits are common sense mammals!!!

Rational People: No it didn’t say that. You Vattle Birthers can’t read. It didn’t rule one way or the other on platypuses. It didn’t have to. Minor Rabbit, was a rabbit, not a platypus. The law is, if it has hair and is warm blooded, its a common sense mammal. Barack Platypus is stupid, but he has hair and is warm-blooded. He is a common sense mammal. And so is Marco Platypus!!! And so is Bobby Platypus in Louisiana.