After my divorce, an interesting thing happened. I was DONE with women. I was “whipped” by my ex, as most american males are. Well, the attitude changed. I gave up all the “metrosexual” “thoughtful male” stuff and started just being myself. I made no apologies for my maleness and this is the weird part. Suddenly women were interested in me. Lots of them. Too many of them.
My point: It’s not so much that the woman likes the “cad”. Rather, they seem to like a man who is A MAN and makes no apologies about it. Sure, you treat your woman with respect and dignity, but you don’t cowtow to her and you don’t “give in” to get along. The latter shows disrespect. You respect others but you also respect YOURSELF. As Brian Tracy says in one of his books: A loser smiles to please. A winner smiles when pleased. Men need to take much more instruction from that. Don’t be an a**hole, but don’t be a lapdog either.
A simple illustration: My wife LIKES that when she cooks something that I don’t like or she thinks she burned, I tell her (if she asks). There are two reasons she likes this: First, it means that when I say I like something she knows I mean it, and can more appreciate the compliment. Second, and more importantly, it is a TRUST and respect issue. Sometimes she knows darned good and well that she burned the heck out of something. If I say it’s fine, she KNOWS I am lying. And lying damages trust and also shows a lack of respect.
One other thing: We know our roles. They are spelled out for us in the bible. We’ve discovered that if you just follow the rules as outlined in the owners manual, the marriage will serve you very well as you serve each other.
I’m not going to get into our sex life except to say that I kinda weep for the average married American male. I was one of them. I talked to a LOT of them. I know how it is for a lot of men. It should not be that way. It is one reason Porn is so popular. And the only thing these men can do is to BE A MAN and let the chips fall where they may. This means dump the porn and start serving your wife as the bible instructs you. What she does is her responsibility, but I will tell you this: One of two things will happen. Either she will change along with you (praying for he couldn’t hurt) and you can find yourself, as I have, in marital bliss beyond what you ever thought possible, or she will divorce you. That brings opportunities of its own that can STILL bring a very positive result. And the bible does instruct you to “let her go” if she so desires.
If nothing else, you will gain your self respect and be a more positive influence on those around you and live life more fully and productively.
Strange, it´s almost as if women prefer manly men. ;)