That describes my take on relationships exactly. I would describe myself as a Beta in looks but an Alpha in attitude. I knew while still rather young that I wasn't particularly handsome .. being comparatively short at 5'6", balding in 9th grade, very thick glasses .. but I worked on being outgoing, self-reliant, witty, smart, and fun to be with. I knew that I would never be able to make a relationship connection with the class beauties and, instead, looked for matching attitudes and abilities in the young women around me. (Although I do regret never asking out my particular dream girl, Susan Shelley, even just to have her turn me down.)
This is what I have told my children about dating/finding a spouse (to our son and our daughters). First, looks are on the outside. They fade. You may as well marry a poster of someone good looking if that is the primary criteria. Second, find someone who understands the value of marriage. You aren’t just looking for a mate but someone who will father or mother your children. Third, compassion and kindness is a true value of someone. How do they treat their parents? How do they treat another person like a waitress or a person on the street asking for directions? Fourth, do they believe in God and do they live their lives as a good person? Fifth, how do they treat you? If they bully you or ridicule you during the dating period, they will turn into a monster after the marriage.
** In short, I think as a society, we have turned to characteristics like money and physical appearance OVER true human values. If some great gal hasn’t snatched you up yet, Bluelancer, it is just a matter of time!